Don't Know Much About History

Don’t know much about history
Don’t know much biology
Don’t know much about a science book
Don’t know much about the French I took.

                             -“What a Wonderful World”, Sam Cooke

I always like watching Jeopardy, even though I could never make it on the actual show. My general lack of coordination coupled with my need to mentally process the clue and THEN formulate the answer (in the form of a question) means there is no way that I could possibly buzz in before two fellow contestants whether or not I knew the answer.

So, when I discovered I could play Jeopardy online I was pretty happy. Online Jeopardy is different. There are no opponents – just you and the Machine. It is also in a multiple choice format. Being provided with four possibilities gives me a fighting chance - I have at least a 25% shot at a correct answer in every category, even if it is a complete guess.

This is important for me because I am stronger in some categories than others. I like to think that this is the case with most of us, with the exception of a handful of brainiacs who just know something about everything. What disturbs me, though, is the particular subjects with which I struggle.

You see, I don’t know anything at all about serious, weighty subjects like science and math. Math was always the bane of my academic existence, despite coming from a family who was, largely, good in the subject. I cannot accurately add and subtract numbers in my checkbook without my calculator, but my sister is an accountant who elected to take Trigonometry in high school because she figured it would be an easy “A.”

Geography also baffles me. For some reason, I have never been able to remember exactly where all the places are or what they’re called in this big world of ours. I am embarrassed to admit that I’m not exactly sure of the placement of some of the Midwest states in our own country, and, honestly, I really have never been able to distinguish Montana from Wyoming.

I actually do know a little bit more about history, which is the story of people. I have always found the subject of people and their motivations very interesting, if often perplexing. However, I am better at modern history than ancient, especially those current events of my lifetime which happened long enough ago that they are now history. I do keep up with current events – e.g. politics, the weather, anything that involves a Steeler - stuff like that.

So what topics DO I know, you’re asking yourself? I am quite proficient in what I like to think of as the “Fine Arts.” I am very knowledgeable about Broadway musicals, theater in general, literature and writers (especially Mark Twain), anything to do with language, the movies and Oscar winners, actors and actresses, and the pop culture of my youth. While I may not be able to tell the difference between a trapezoid and a triangle, I know without hesitation that Cherie Currie appeared as “Annie” in the movie Foxes with Jodie Foster in 1980. Trust me neither of these topics typically comes up at your average dinner party.

Music is a little trickier – I know a LOT about Broadway show tunes and popular music produced between 1930 and 1989, but not so much about classical music and opera. Somewhere in the 1990’s the popular music scene lost me. My first thought when I heard that Josh Duhamel was dating Fergie was that Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, and he made quite the odd couple.

My ultimate top Jeopardy category, though, is television. I am an avid television fan, and you can ask me anything about it, from its beginnings to the present. I even know facts about shows that were on before I was born and about shows that I have never watched. I am a living, breathing example of how watching too much television can absolutely rot your brain, and keep you from learning important topics like science, math and geography. Unless of course you‘re watching Jeopardy.