When the "Stars" Align

I was on pins and needles waiting to hear the decision.  My heart was in my throat, racing, and pounding out of my chest, all at the same time. It was only a matter of seconds, but it seemed like an eternity passed waiting for the announcement.  It probably seemed like an eternity because I was holding my breath.

“And Mirrorball Trophy goes to….”

Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat….. Beat

“MERYL AND MAKS!”

A wash of relief flowed over me, followed by an illogical kind of euphoria.  I LITERALLY whooped, threw my hands in the air in victory, and shouted “YES!”

Meryl Davis, Ice Dancing Olympic Gold Medalist, and professional dancer Maksim Chmerkovskiy had won Dancing with the Stars.  It was as it should be and in Maksim's case, long overdue. All was right in the DWTS universe.

By far and away Meryl was the best dancer of this season’s lot (no one else even came close), but that doesn’t always guarantee a win for a DWTS celebrity contestant.  Furthermore Maks had inexplicably never won a season in his 14 seasons on the show, and there was the fear that this season would not break this unenviable streak.

There was an absolute palpable magical chemistry between Meryl and Maks, on and off the dance floor.  Their relationship was captivating to watch.  Both tough-as-nails professional athletes, their personality styles couldn’t be more different.  She was soft and gentle and kind, while he is the direct and unapologetic “Bad Boy of the Ballroom."

A funny thing happened on the way to the Mirrorball Trophy for Meryl and Maks.  He brought her out of her shell.  She brought out the softer side of him.  We saw Maks as he was when he really cared for his partner.  It was a beautiful transformative process, and it was breathtaking to witness.

Meryl and Maks winning DWTS was not the only occurrence that put things right in the universe on Tuesday. A judge overturned Pennsylvania's ban on gay marriage, making it legal for same gender couples to marry in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania.  Finally.  There was great jubilant celebration in my Facebook world, from my gay friends and all those who believe that all the citizens of our great land deserve the same civil rights under the law.

Meryl and Maks have denied that they are dating, and at least one divorce attorney I know joked that it Tuesday was a great day for his profession as well.

Maybe I’m just a hopeful romantic, but I wish Meryl and Maks would have a great romance off the dance floor – chemistry like theirs doesn’t come along every day.  As for my soon-to-be-married friends (no matter their orientation) I fervently wish that their unions be strong and nurturing and that they never need to call a divorce attorney.

 Because what I really believe in is love.  Finding the right life-partner has been one of the finest, most satisfying experiences of my life and I can’t help but wish happy partnerships for everyone. 

A Mother's Day Lesson

As mothers we wear many hats, but certainly one of the most important roles we have is to act as a teacher to our children.  There are so many lessons to impart about life and values and how to live, but sometimes you have to step in and help with the homework. 

Which brings me to the subject of this blog.   A few months ago, some formerly well-respected dictionaries added a second definition of the word “literally.”  From Webster’s¹  -

LITERALLY

1:  in a literal sense or manner :  actually  

2:  in effect :  virtually 

Usage Discussion of LITERALLY

Since some people take sense 2 to be the opposite of sense 1, it has been frequently criticized as a misuse. Instead, the use is pure hyperbole intended to gain emphasis, but it often appears in contexts where no additional emphasis is necessary.

See, this is literally so ridiculous that Webster’s felt it necessary to include a defense of its inclusion of the second definition.  Now, I am not the biggest grammar stickler I know.  Mr. Rip and my sister were shaken to their cores by this travesty.  They were literally sure that this was the end of civilized communication as we know it. 

However, I was literally dumbstruck that a dictionary, the presumed authority on language and its usage, had endorsed a meaning for a word that is the exact opposite of the original meaning of the word.  The dictionary meaning of the word “literal” has not changed, so how can the meaning of the word “literally?” 

I understand that language evolves and that meanings of words sometimes change.  For instance, “awesome” used to mean “full of awe” but now it legitimately means “really great.”  But there are limits.  By including two opposite meanings for this word without identifying one of them as a colloquial or slang usage, the dictionary has rendered the word “literally” completely useless. 

Now for the lesson.  Let me clarify for you the difference between “literally” and “in effect,” or, if you will indulge me, “figuratively” in a manner befitting Mother’s Day.

I was always  a maternal sort.  Two of my best friends were on the track team in college, and the entire team called me “Mom” around campus.  I had this strange effect on guys who drank too much at parties.  They would end up literally (by that I mean “actually”) crying on my shoulder about some girl they liked or some other life problems, and I ended up walking more than one of these young drunks home to make sure they got there safely.

I was not literally their mother.  I did not give birth to them, or adopt them or marry their father.  I was a mother figure to them – in effect acting in a maternal way towards them, but to say that I was literally mother to the track team and random drunk guys at parties in college would be, simply, incorrect.

I literally became a mother when I gave birth to my son, J.J. on February 13, 1985.  While we’re on the topic, let me tell you nothing in my life has ever been more important or enriching than that experience.  He is simply everything a mother could ask for her son to be.  Literally.

¹  Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 11 May 2014. .

Sing, Sink or Swim

A capella is to choral singing as skinny dipping is to swimming. Vulnerable, exhilarating and prone to revelations.               

                                                                                                                               -Christina Davis

I sing in a choir, and sometimes that choir sings “a cappella” – i.e. without accompaniment.  That’s okay with me, because literally I will happily sing absolutely anything my choral conductor hands me to sing.  Singing “a cappella” is more of a challenge than singing with accompaniment, but I’m always game for a vocal challenge.

However comparing singing “a cappella” to skinny dipping does not exactly entice me to try either. I’ve never exactly been a big fan of vulnerability, although I will admit that both activities might be prone to revelations. Like the revelation that it is harder to stay on key if singing without a musical net, or the revelation that when you get out of the water you will be sopping wet AND naked.

There are two things about skinny dipping that I have a problem with – the skinny and the dipping. I gave up swimming after having almost drowned twice – once in a local swimming pool and once in the raging rapids of the Youghigheny River. You don’t have to almost drown me more than twice for me to get the hint that maybe I’d be better off staying out of the water.

For the record, I eschew public nudity, in or out of the water.  Honestly, I am rarely totally naked even in my own house.  What can I say?  I get cold.  Heck, for years, I wouldn't even wear shorts in public, much less appear naked.  Yes, almost everywhere I go I am fully clothed.

Once when I was auditioning for a show for a theater company located in the East End of Pittsburgh which was known primarily for its children’s shows, one of the questions on the audition form was “Would you appear nude on stage?”  What went through my head was, “Are you totally insane?  With these thighs?”  What I considered writing in response was “Not as long as my father is alive.”  What I finally, actually, wrote was, “No.”

Ironically, Nightswimming, my very favorite song by R.E.M (my very favorite band), is ostensibly about skinny dipping: 

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday.

The way I see it Nightswimming is about skinny dipping the way A River Runs Through It is about fly fishing.  It is, but it is about so much more than that.  It is metaphorically about being surer in your own skin and not being afraid to be yourself in the world.

Nightswimming has been in my head and on my lips ever since I thought about using it in the blog. This means that I would never be caught dead skinny dipping but you might very well find me singing “a cappella” about skinny dipping.