Dancing through Life

Now that we are about halfway through this season, it is obvious that no one involved in the show itself has read my blog on “How to Win on Dancing with the Stars.”


In the third week, Kristen Cavalleri of The Hills went home. Everybody on the show was SHOCKED because she danced very well that week. After her very gracious speech about what a wonderful experience it all was, she admitted that she was disappointed, and added, “Clearly, it’s not REALLY a dance competition.”

I thought I explained all this. Of course it isn’t all about the dancing. There are several other factors that come into play, including having a compelling back story.

Kristen went home on “Most Memorable Year” (aka “Compelling Back Story”) Week. The contestants talked about their most memorable year and danced to a song of their own choosing to represent that year. Let me tell you, there was one incredibly compelling story after another.

There are really no words that adequately describe the inspiration in human form that is DWTS contestant J.R. Martinez, motivational speaker and former All My Children actor. J.R. was serving in the U.S. Army in Iraq when he drove his vehicle over a land mine. He suffered severe burns over 40% of his body, including his face and head, and lost an ear. He was 19. No number of scars can mask this man’s spirit. He radiates positive energy and his beautiful smile brightens up a room. He is one of the most attractive people I have ever seen, and is coincidentally, one of the best dancers this season.

J.R.’s most memorable year was the year he was injured. He talked about the incident, and his injury, and how his mother’s strength and courage helped him to get through what was obviously an extremely traumatic time for him, both emotionally and physically. She told him that people would like him for who he was and not what he looked like. He talked about all the soldiers who gave their lives in the war, and danced to a song that was dedicated to all of them. Well, there wasn’t a dry eye in OUR house, and the dance was beautiful.

Chaz Bono talked about his transformation, and danced to a song written by his father Sonny Bono about what is it to be a man. Ricki Lake’s marriage broke up and her house burned down, but she found new love in her now-husband. Well, we’ve all had those years, now haven’t we? Carson Kressley talked about how difficult it was growing up as different as he was from his schoolmates. Chynna Phillips danced to a song she wrote herself –Hold On, her big hit with Wilson Phillips- to help her get through a very bad time with her father. Nancy Grace talked about the premature birth of her twins, who are now healthy five-year-olds sitting in the audience with Dad each week.

Kristen’s most memorable year was when she graduated high school and had to decide whether to go to college or be on a TV show. Now, it’s not young Kristen’s fault that she had not seen real trouble in life yet, but if the producers don’t want to set it up for contestants with compelling back stories to beat contestants who dance well early in the season, then they should skip Most Memorable Year week.

By the way, J.R. Martinez is going to win this season. Remember you heard it here first.

I Hope You Dance

There was an avalanche of negative reaction at the announcement of Chaz Bono as a contestant on the upcoming Dancing with the Stars. It seems there are a number of folks out there who actually believe that allowing a transgendered individual to dance on a television show will somehow threaten their idea of what America is.

Oh, I shouldn’t have been surprised. There are plenty of small minded and mindlessly mean people in this world. I’ve known more than a few. It’s just that I figured out as a preteen that all people are equal and have the right to believe what they like and live how they choose. What can I tell you? It makes it hard for me to accept such ignorance.

It especially irks me that many of these people take this stance in the name of Christianity. Before I officially became a non-denominational spiritualist, I was Catholic, which IS a form of Christianity. I seem to remember being taught that Christians were supposed to love and not judge their fellow man. Furthermore, I know plenty of real Christians who do just that. So people who use Christianity to defend their hatred of and discrimination against anyone who lives or believes differently than they do not only aren’t really Christians themselves, they are giving a bad name to the good, decent, authentic Christians out there.

People may accuse me of being open-minded to the extreme. Guilty as charged, I’m afraid. Despite this, I never fully understood why people would actually go to the extreme of physically changing their gender. Maybe it is just because the idea of elective surgery is a foreign concept to me. I pretty much limit my surgical procedures to those that are absolutely necessary. Transgendered surgery always seemed such an extreme measure and so very final.

Because of Chaz Bono, I finally get it. He was of course born as a girl named Chastity to Sonny and Cher. As an adult, Chastity came out as a lesbian and was an active gay rights activist. I never had a problem with Chastity Bono but never felt a particular affinity for her either. Then she decided to undergo transgender surgery and became Chaz.

I have not seen the documentary or read Chaz’ book about his journey, but I have seen him on several talk shows. I like Chaz VERY much. He is warm, engaging, intelligent and articulate. It struck me that as Chastity he LITERALLY was uncomfortable in his own skin. I admire that he is making his process so public, and I believe that he is sincerely doing so in an effort to help others, to increase awareness and understanding of transgendered individuals. I appreciate his wit, his candor and his bravery.

Of course, every action has an equal and opposite reaction (and people think I don’t know anything about physics). There were lots of people, including his professional dance partner Lacey Schwimmer, who spoke up supporting Chaz and his right to participate in a televised ballroom dancing competition.

And his mama Cher also took to the internet, mouse ablazing, to defend her offspring. Cher basically said that what Chaz was doing took guts and these haters should give him a chance. She said that no matter how old you or they get, you still don’t stand by and let people mess with your children. Although I’m pretty sure she didn’t originally use the word “mess.” Ah, it was good to hear from Cher again. Chaz thanked his mom and everyone else for their support, and just said that all negative response had made him determined to work harder on his dancing.

So if Chaz Bono wants to dance on DWTS, I say he should go for it. I hope he dances presentably, has some fun and wins some people over with that great personality of his. I’m rooting for him, and am looking forward to seeing Cher cheering him on in the audience.