Aunt Shirley and the Brownies

The very first thing my husband ever told me about his Aunt Shirley was about her brownies. You see, Aunt Shirley brought homemade brownies to every family dinner.

These were not just any brownies, mind you. These were generally recognized as the "Best Brownies in the World." My husband insisted that he had in all his days never tasted brownies better than Aunt Shirley's, and my husband is somewhat of a brownie connoisseur. After several years, Aunt Shirley's special recipe was finally revealed - she made her brownies using Duncan Hines Brownie Mix.

When we were planning our wedding eight years ago, my husband  was delighted when Aunt Shirley, then 80, called to tell him she would be able to come to the wedding.  Her son Seth was flying from his home in New Mexico to New Jersey to meet up with his mom, and then flying with her to Pittsburgh for the wedding.

When Aunt Shirley asked my husband what we wanted for the wedding, he answered truthfully that her presence would be gift enough, and then jokingly added, "Unless you want to bring me some of those brownies of yours - they were always my favorite."

Aunt Shirley and Seth were flying in the day before the wedding in time for the rehearsal dinner.  Unfortunately their plane had been delayed and they had endured a rather lengthy wait in airport terminals on their way to Pittsburgh.  So we were all seated and having dinner when they arrived - a very tired man and his gentle, soft-spoken mother, looking none the worse for wear, carefully carrying a pan of her homemade brownies covered in aluminum foil, which she had made for her nephew because he loved them so.

It seems that Aunt Shirley had carried those brownies in her arms and on her lap all the way from New Jersey - in the car, through airport terminals, on the plane.  She shared the story of her encounter getting the brownies past the security guards in these post-9/11 days of air travel.  The guards gave her a mock hard time, saying that perhaps they needed to confiscate these brownies, in case she was smuggling some contraband in them.  She explained to them that she was taking them to her nephew who was getting married in Pittsburgh, as a special present for him, because, you know, he really loved her brownies.  The guards thought it over, and let her pass with a smile, her brownies intact.

My husband shared Aunt Shirley's brownies with me.  They were some of the best brownies I'd ever tasted.

It was clear to me that Aunt Shirley's secret brownie ingredient was all the love she put into making them and sharing them.

Aunt Shirley passed away yesterday after a long illness, almost exactly eight years after I first saw her, walking into the rehearsal dinner carrying her pan of brownies.  Aunt Shirley accomplished many things in her life besides transforming Duncan Hines brownies into something special.  She had been a newspaper editor and writer, had raised a family, and still occasionally wrote a column on Senior issues in a local paper after her retirement.

As for me, I will never eat a brownie without thinking of Aunt Shirley, with love.

Thankful for the Little Things

I’m really not all that complicated or mysterious. My husband always tells me that my instruction manual is about a page long and can be summarized in just four words: “Be nice to me.”

It’s very true that I find pleasure in small things. When my husband and I were getting ready for the Early Thanksgiving dinner that we hosted at our house yesterday, there were lots of little things that were making me very happy.

The scent of the turkey and the fixings filling the house put me in a pretty good mood. This made me count my lucky stars to have a husband who doesn’t just cook, but creates delicious feasts for our dinner guests. I later followed my bliss by thoroughly enjoying eating that mouthwatering meal. I am also glad that I enjoy turkey so much, as this would be just the first time I would be eating it this week.

I couldn’t find the nice paper dinner napkins that I was certain that I had in the house somewhere. I realized that my dinner guests were not the kind of people who would care if I used the everyday paper napkins for dinner. I had thousands of those. I appreciated my down-to-earth family and friends.

I also really enjoyed vacuuming the house with my brand new vacuum cleaner, which actually sucks up the dirt (unlike the one we recently threw away) and is self-propelling. The piece de resistance is that it also has neat storage compartments for all the attachments built right onto the vacuum itself.

As I was repositioning the living room chair that we picked up on a whim at an antique store when visiting Geneva-on-the-Lake in April, I had to stop one more time to admire it. It makes me very happy every time I look at that chair.

I realized that preparing the house for guests was actually a pleasurable experience. I loved my house one more time for being such a perfect home for us and such a welcoming place for our visitors.

On Thanksgiving we are supposed to give thanks for our blessings. I am very blessed, and I am actively grateful every day of the year for the wonderful people in my life – my husband, my son, my family and dear friends. So it is fitting that our pre-Thanksgiving dinner reminded me to also be thankful for the little things.

Not in Your Size

My husband treated me to lunch at Habitat the other day, the new trendy restaurant in the Fairmont Hotel in Pittsburgh. The food was exceptionally good, but the décor was just as interesting and intriguing, and as special as the company. As a bonus, Larrimor’s (the upscale clothing store) was having a promotion, and we each got a $50 gift certificate to the store.


I was skeptical about finding anything at Larrimor’s. I’ve never been in the store, and not just because it is upscale (code for “ridiculously expensive”). I am actually willing to shop the sale rack at the upscale places, but I presumed that they would not carry plus sizes. However, I had made that same assumption about Saks, where I found my most beautiful burgundy wedding dress for a fraction of the original price, so I tagged along after my husband to Larrimor’s.

It was clear when we walked in that the store stocked primarily men's clothing, with just a very small women's department. I thought I would just cut to the chase with the salesperson who asked if she could help me. I asked if they carried plus sizes. She got that pained, disapproving look that the elite sometimes exhibit when encountering the lower classes. “Well, no, we don’t,” she said, “We do have some things that are one-size-fits-all. It IS a boutique, after all. You know how that goes.”

Actually, I don’t know that much about boutiques because they don’t usually carry plus sizes. I decided to look around at handbags and scarves and things, but I quickly found out that not only don’t Larrimor’s wares come in my size they don’t come in my style either.

The salesperson continued to try to assist and engage me, probably in a sincere effort to provide good, personalized customer service.  Either that, or she felt badly because they didn’t carry my size.  Maybe she just didn’t want to lose a sale. “So you’re just visiting here?” she asked brightly. I explained proudly that I was Pittsburgh born and raised and had lived here all my life. “And you’ve never been here before?” she asked accusingly. I reminded her that they didn’t carry plus sizes. I was here now and there was nothing for me to buy.

I decided to go where I was welcome. Avenue, my favorite little downtown plus-size women’s clothing store, was having a huge sale. The merchandise there is inexpensive at full price, but not cheaply made. Not only do they carry my size, they carry clothes that are actually cut for people my size. The salespeople occasionally ask me if I’m finding everything alright, and are always helpful if I should ask for their help, but otherwise leave me alone to browse. Sometimes the clearance items are practically free.

An article in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette today which was talking about the dwindling of the women’s fashion retail choices in downtown Pittsburgh with the downsizing of Macy’s and the closing of the Sak’s store stated that “…Larrimor’s is thinking about expanding its women’s fashion section…” (http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/11317/1189300-28-0.stm#ixzz1ddVLSNAU ).

Hey, what a great idea! Here's a crazy thought - maybe they could expand their customer base even further by expanding their thinking as well, and stocking some clothing for the more expansive women out there.

Hey, Make Me Over

Last week I stumbled upon an updated version of The Look for Less on the Style Network. It pitted a Celebrity Stylist against a Budget Fashionista (whatever THAT is) in finding two stylish outfits for a woman. They had $250 and two days to complete the challenge, and they could each choose two pieces from her existing wardrobe with which to work.


The woman they were helping was a motivational speaker who had been unemployed for a year and a half, and had really hit bottom in terms of her self-esteem, which was also having an adverse effect on her relationship with her boyfriend. She had, in effect, lost her motivation and her mojo. She wanted a professional look to jump start her career, and a date look to rekindle things with her boyfriend.

So, I’m thinking, “Wow! $250 AND two pieces from her closet? Where’s the challenge in that?” The Celebrity Stylist is just flabbergasted at the budget (as if he didn’t know what it would be until this moment), and says that $250 wouldn’t even buy an accessory for one of his celebrities. The Budget Fashionista is pretty smug about her ability to show the Stylist what’s what on how to shop on a budget.

The Stylist puts together a very smart business look using an out-of-date blazer with an attached pocket square that the woman already owns. He updates this blazer primarily by removing the pocket square, and they all applaud his genius in coming up with this idea. The Fashionista, the so-called expert on budget shopping, chooses an ankle-length, strapless floral dress with a mismatched green scarf thrown over it which looked more like it belonged at Woodstock than in a workplace, for her business look. Clearly, she has no concept of how people dress when their occupation involves giving inspiring and instructive speeches to other professionals. Both of them chose dressy short-shorts for her date look, which I found curious. Maybe that is a fad in Southern California. Not surprisingly, the woman chose the Stylist’s collection, I’m guessing based upon the business look alone.

Well, I just couldn’t believe it. “Do you know what I could have done with $250?” I rhetorically asked my husband. Without hesitation, he responded “You could have created a whole collection.”

Actually, that’s about right. It would be safe to say that I usually do not spend more than $250 on clothes (not counting shoes) in most YEARS. Yes, that’s right – I love a good bargain. No, I LIVE for a good bargain, rarely paying full price for anything.

Here’s what I would have done for that motivational speaker. I would have put her in a work outfit very much like the one the Stylist put together – a blazer, structured blouse or top and dressy slacks or skirt. For the date, I would have found a one-piece figure flattering dress in a solid print, set off with some nice accessories. And I probably could have done it all at Dress Barn, in half a day, with money left over.

Does that make ME a Budget Fashionista? Can I be on the show?