A Problem with Maria

Carrie Underwood must have one hell of an agent.  

When we visited the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame a few years ago, she was featured in the Women Who Rock exhibit despite being a country singer.  There is nothing even slightly rock 'n roll about this woman's music.  I know because she is singing everywhere you turn around because of that stellar agent of hers.

Now she has been chosen to play Maria in NBC's upcoming live remake of The Sound of Music.    While she certainly sings prettily enough for the role, I was unable to find even one actual acting credit listed in her IMDB profile.  Sure, "America" must love her (she won American Idol a few years ago) but even if she read extremely well in the audition, this is a LIVE performance of a lead role, and choosing a first time actress for the part is clearly a risk.

I have a complicated relationship with The Sound of Music.  The iconic movie starring Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer was released the month I turned 9, and my parents decided to take me to the Warner Theater in downtown Pittsburgh to see the movie as a special treat for my birthday.  I remember the excitement of dressing up and making the trip downtown.  I was completely enthralled and enchanted by everything about the film; I thought it was perfection.

Then I saw the movie again when it was re-released when I was 11. I was more sophisticated and jaded by then, and suddenly the whole thing seemed a little saccharine to me.  This has not kept me from willingly watching and enjoying the movie and various productions of the stage version many more times over the years.  Mr. Rip, my friend Casey and I went to see an interactive sing-a-long version a few years ago that was loads of fun.

Which brings us to the question of whether The Sound of Music needs to be remade at all.  I might have said no, until I heard the announcement of some supporting cast members that made my reservations about Carrie as Maria vanish.  Listen to this:

Audra McDonald will be playing the Mother Abbess, Maria's wise advisor.  Mr. Rip, who is a very literal guy, has taken issue with the historical accuracy of such casting, but c'mon.  This is five-time Tony Award winner Audra McDonald we're talking about here.  I would cast her in literally any role she might like to play in a production of anything I was directing.  Mr. Rip asked if I would cast her as Max Bialystock in The Producers. Yes, yes I would.  Anyway, I wait in breathless anticipation to hear her sing "Climb Every Mountain."

Which brings me to the lovely Laura Benanti being cast as the Baroness, who is supposed to be a villain or something, but I don't think she's so bad.  Sure she isn't so childlike that she is practically one of the kids, but she wasn't really mean to them either.  

I am sure that Laura Benanti will shine in the role.  She is also a Tony Winner for her role of Louise in the Patty Lupone revival of Gypsy five years ago, where she believably transformed from the innocent and awkward teenager to the jaded worldly stripper.  You know, kind of like the transformation (albeit a less dramatic one) that the character of Maria makes in The Sound of Music?  Hey, wait a minute, if a world class actress and singer like Laura Benanti who actually won awards for her portrayal of a character going from adolescence to adulthood was available, why didn't they offer her the role of....  oh, never mind.  She'll make a great Baroness.

And, finally, there's Christian Borle, yet another Tony Award winner as the wise-cracking Max.  I think he'll be great in the role, and besides I'm legally obligated to enthusiastically cheer him on in his career because he is a Pittsburgh native.

So, anyway, I am eagerly awaiting this production, although the jury is out on Carrie Underwood as Maria.  All I know right now is that Laura Benanti ought to give her agent a call.

       

Rip's Turn - Rating the "Roses"

There is absolutely nothing quite like performing the role of Mama Rose in Gypsy.

I had the chance in 2007 at Heritage Players in Bethel Park.  It was special for a number of reasons.  It was the first (and to date, the only) time that I have ever been directed by my husband, who turned out to be an intelligent, insightful director with strong ideas about the character, and his guidance helped me immensely in inhabiting this wonderful, strong and not-so-nice character.

It was also the only time I ever shared a role.  I met Joyce, my co-Mama Rose, for the very first time at the read-through for the show, and I couldn’t have chosen a better acting “partner” myself.  Joyce is a sweet person and an excellent and thorough actress, and I learned so much as we took on the part together, watching her as we took turns rehearsing scenes, and discussing things as we went.  I was a better Mama Rose because of Joyce, who is now a wonderful friend and kindred spirit.

But on stage the highlight of playing Mama Rose was performing “Rose’s Turn”, Rose’s big final nervous-breakdown-of-a-show-stopping-production-number.  Luckily, I can’t get enough of watching other actresses perform the number, because my husband recently found and shared the link to “THE SCREENING ROOM: Here They Are, World! A Dozen Divas Sing Gypsy's "Rose's Turn[Videos]," which was published on Playbill.com on August 23.  http://www.playbill.com/news/article/169353-THE-SCREENING-ROOM-Here-They-Are-World-A-Dozen-Divas-Sing-Gypsys-Roses-Turn-Video

After a thorough review, I will say that the Playbill Staff (who collectively received the credit for the article) was pretty comprehensive in digging up performances, even though they did include all-audio versions when video versions of a performance did exist.  Here’s my take on the Roses and their Turns as featured in the Playbill article:

The Original - Ethel Merman-  What can I say?  The part was created and written for Ethel, and she was amazing.  This was just an audio version, and, sadly there is no video of Ethel performing it, so it seems that her full video performance is lost to history.

The Wannabe - Liza Minnelli  Clearly, Liza coveted the role of Mama Rose although, to my knowledge, she never actually played the part on stage in the show.  More’s the pity.   Some People is one of Liza’s signature songs (several different performances of this can be found on You Tube), and you deserve to treat yourself to a viewing of Liza performing Everything’s Coming Up Roses on the Muppet Show.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_-CWHvM1ws  As for this Rose’s Turn, no one did it better  than Liza, with her totally unique growl of a delivery, all natural energy and anger, even if she was all decked out in her sparkly pantsuit for her concert.

Manchurian Mama-Angela Lansbury- This was an audio-only version but the Playbill Staff did include a very poor quality grainy clip-reel of Angela’s numbers from the show, which include a short portion of Rose’s Turn.  Just listening to it, I was reminded of her portrayal of the Machiavellian mama in The Manchurian Candidate, making Angela Lansbury the Queen of Mad Mother Portrayals in my book.

Stepford Mama -  Bernadette Peters   This clip from the Tony Awards shows Bernadette as someone who is thinking about every word, movement, and expression as she stands and sings the song.  In my mind, nothing about Rose’s Turn should appear to be planned; it should be performed with a kind of wild abandon. I admire Bernadette, really I do, but sometimes you’re just not right for the role.

Scary Mama - Patti LuPone –   This was an audio-only version, because Playbill Staff stated that no video version exists, but that is not true.  There is a video version on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9HLw7m6dCo that probably was taken by an audience  member at the Broadway performance.  I’m guessing Playbill Staff was afraid to use it after Patti’s real-life meltdown during a performance of the song during an actual show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WruzPfJ9Rys where she berates an audience member for taking pictures in an extended rant (“Who do you think you ARE?”) which was ironically also recorded by someone in the audience that day who obviously escaped her notice.  With that attitude, she’s just lucky that her video performance (which was powerful vocally but mannered) was not lost for all posterity, like Ethel Merman’s.

The Total Package-Bette Midler  You know, I love me some Bette Midler, who performed the role in a made-for-television production.  I would have to rate this the best overall performance of this group for the total package Bette presents.  She acts it flawlessly, sings it exceptionally, and has the best choreography, the best dress, and the best breasts (I only mention the latter, because she actively uses them in the number) and it all seems to come naturally.

Most Surreal - Bette Buckley  This clip is from one of Bette Buckley’s concerts, and includes the end of With One Look from “Sunset Boulevard”  in full Norma regalia before she does an onstage change into a Mama Rose get-up with the help of about 4 dressers.  She performed the song well, but still, it was just weird.  Maybe she should have invested in a sparkly pantsuit.

Sue Anne Nivens as Mama - Delores Gray – Okay, I didn’t know who Delores Gray was, but my husband tells me she was a famous singing stage actress of yesteryear who starred in a lot of shows, many of which were flops.  So, this audio-only concert offering features Delores explaining to the audience in the sweetest manner the story of Gypsy and the scene in the show leading up to Rose’s Turn, and then launching into one of the meanest, most venomous performances of the song I’ve ever heard.  Meanwhile the picture we see of her is of a wholesome 50’s-era blonde holding two poodles while sitting in a convertible.

The Faceless Actress - Tyne Daly – Really, this audio-only version doesn’t cut it, because the genius of Tyne Daly’s performance wasn’t about singing but about acting, and has to be SEEN to be appreciated.  Check out the video, which does exist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CLd554sZq8

British Mama - Caroline O’Connor – This is just a promotional trailer for the 2012 London production of the show, and only contains the very last line of Rose’s Turn, despite the fact that a fine audio version of Caroline O’Connor’s exceptional performance is readily available. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcNNAKblpaM.

The Un-Mama - Chris Colfer Which one of these clips is not like the others?  Why, it’s this bastardized truncated version from Glee. Chris Colfer is terrific (as always) but he was not playing Mama Rose.  He was playing Kurt, and therefore does not belong in this group at all.

The Movie Mama -Rosalind Russell –Rosalind Russell being cast in the movie is the reason we don’t have a video version of Ethel Merman singing this song, and here Rosalind is in all her dreadful mediocrity, with her singing being dubbed by Lisa Kirk.  Just for fun, Playbill Staff included another version of Rosalind Russell in the movie, with Ethel Merman’s vocals dubbed in.

I’m guessing that even from the grave, Ethel Merman is not amused.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

My husband and I are that nice middle aged couple who don’t go to Halloween parties anymore and give out pretzels to trick-or-treaters so that if there are any leftovers in the house, we can indulge without going off our diets. And we’re fine with that.


As a child, though, Halloween was always one of my favorite holidays, right next to Christmas. Trick-or-treat was a big deal, and there was none of these time-limited-periods-on-a-Sunday-afternoon that some communities try to get away with nowadays. In Swissvale, where I grew up, trick or treat always took place on October 31st, and there were no time limits. We would carry pillowcases as our treat bags and trick-or-treat until we couldn’t walk the hills anymore or until the pillowcases were full.

But the part of Halloween I liked the best was dressing up – in my case, as a Gypsy. I liked dressing up as a Gypsy so much that I chose that as my costume almost every year of my childhood. I wore a colorful one of my Grandma’s babushkas on my head and another around my waist. My mother lent me some of her costume jewelry - big hoop earrings and beaded necklaces - for the occasion, and let me put on her rouge and bright red lipstick. I would also draw a little beauty mark on my cheek. It sure was a nice break from those navy blue jumpers they made us wear every day at St. Anselm’s.

My favorite costume as a teenager was when I went to St. Anselm’s annual Halloween dance as Huckleberry Finn when I was a high school freshman. I found a straw hat and a corncob pipe, blackened my front tooth with a piece of black construction paper, tucked my hair up under the hat, and wore my favorite flannel shirt and denim cutoffs with pair of suspenders. This set me apart from my classmates in many ways. I don’t remember any of them dressing up as their favorite character from literature, and even my true friends who loved me just the way I was thought my obsession with Mark Twain and Huckleberry Finn was a little odd.

Without a doubt, though, my most inspired costume was the time I went to a Halloween party (when I was an adult) as a Freudian Slip. I wore a full white slip with the following velcroed on the front:

Sigmund Freud (1856—1939)

Father of Psychoanalysis

Manic Depressive

Insomniac

Once asked “What do women want?”

The answers:

1) A blackish square-ish, round-ish purse that is not too large but is large enough to carry all she needs that can easily go from work to a night out, and

2) A man whose ego has his id firmly under control but who has enough of a superego to be socially acceptable and gainfully employed.

Honestly, what women want is that simple.  I don’t know why Freud was so clueless on the topic.