"Nine" Lives (The Critics Must Be Crazy)

I won’t go to see just any movie on Christmas Day. Essentially, it has to be what I refer to as a feel-good movie: something upbeat or positive or happy or maybe even inspirational. My ideal is a big, splashy musical (like Dreamgirls) which actually opens on Christmas Day. I do not want to see anything that is too dark or depressing or disturbing.

Last year, the musical opening on Christmas was Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton’s dark interpretation (as though the source material needed to be any darker) of the misadventures of the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Although this was the movie adaptation of one of my husband’s favorite stage musicals of all time, it was unfortunately not Christmas movie material even though it was a musical. Another movie of interest in the theaters at the time was Doubt, a psychological drama about a fierce, unyielding nun who accuses a priest of misconduct. I’ve known a few fierce, unyielding nuns in my day, and I wouldn’t have wanted to spend Christmas with any of them.

We ended up seeing Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler, a fun, lightweight fantasy good for the whole family. Mr. Sandler was as charming as usual, and the movie included a little of everything- clever fantasy premise, romance, adventure, special effects, cute kids, and even a computer-generated hamster sidekick. Perfectly sweet movie for Christmas, and one that probably never would have made it into our Netflix queue (as Sweeney Todd and Doubt both did).

This time it was easier. Nine, Rob Marshall’s movie version of the stage musical based on Fellini’s 8 ½ , was opening on Christmas Day. We had seen the Conservatory Theater Company of Point Park University’s very good stage production a few years ago, and the promos for the movie proclaimed, “if you liked Chicago, you’ll like Nine!” As a matter of fact, we did like Chicago- we liked Chicago a lot.

Nine turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable, visually interesting, superbly acted musical which completely lived up to the promo. Daniel Day-Lewis is believable and charismatic as the conflicted director, Guido Contini, who is weathering a creative slump by examining his relationships with the women in his life.

Guido’s women are played by some of the most fabulous women to ever grace the screen. Marion Cotillard is absolutely luminous and breathtakingly beautiful as Guido’s long suffering wife, while Penelope Cruz oozes messy sexuality as his mistress. Judi Dench competently plays his costumer and confidant, and shows her song-and-dance chops in her own production number. Kate Hudson plays an American journalist and was made up to look exactly like her mother, Goldie Hawn, did in her “Laugh-In” days. Fergie, the lead singer of the Black Eyed Peas, is amazing as an Italian prostitute in “Be Italian,” arguably the show’s best musical number. Sophia Loren plays his mother and Nicole Kidman is his actress muse.

Was it perfect? Not exactly, but then what is? In the stage version, the story took place entirely in Guido’s head, and I wished it would have stayed there in the movie. Instead, they decided to open it up, it took place in real time, and they introduced men into the story. Guido’s producer, the Judi Dench character on stage, was now a man, and there was one scene where Guido has a meaningful meeting with a Cardinal. Neither of these characters was necessary nor did they add anything to the story. But then I would rewrite or edit the books of many musicals that I basically enjoy. Nine’s fabulous musical numbers could carry the movie all by themselves without any pesky story at all, if need be.

Shockingly, many critics loathed Nine. In fact, only 28% of the critics listed on RottenTomatoes.com recommended it. To give it a qualified thumbs up, or to take issue with some parts of it I could understand, but to completely trash it? I was, simply, baffled.

The most puzzling critique I came across in my cursory review of the representative comments provided by Rotten Tomatoes came from Sean O’Connell of the South Charlotte Weekly, who wrote that Marshall “hires eye candy over proven entertainers” in the movie. Really? Well, I’m sure that Judi Dench is used to that criticism- she probably hears it all the time. Let’s see, Day-Lewis, Dench, Loren, Cruz, Cotillard, and Kidman are all Oscar winners in acting categories, and Hudson has been nominated for her work in the past. What do they have to do, exactly, to prove themselves as entertainers to Mr. O’Connell?

It’s not just the critics who get it wrong, though. Sometimes I stand by, incredulous, as “America” chooses the wrong Idol, or helplessly watch two favorite new TV shows, Pushing Daisies and Eli Stone, perish because they didn’t find an audience despite being a favorite of the critics.

Sometimes I just want my voice to be heard. I want to talk some sense into the critics or “America.” So let me shout it from the blogosphere! Nine was fine and dandy, just like a hard candy Christmas. Don’t listen to the crazy critics, people. Listen to me. If you like Daniel Day-Lewis or the type of big, beautiful musical production numbers that Rob Marshall does so well, you should like Nine. Actually, the promos were accurate in this case. If you liked Chicago, you most probably will like Nine.