Expectant Mothers and New Parents of Infants Only

The other day I was running into Giant Eagle to pick up a book of stamps and something from the salad bar for lunch. Since it was lunchtime the parking lot was packed, but in the distance I saw an empty spot right next to the handicapped spots. It was like an oasis in a desert. I happily headed for the spot only to find that it was “Reserved for Expectant Mothers and New Parents of Infant Children Only.”

Really? Since when do pregnant women and people with babies get spots right next to the handicapped spots to shop in the supermarket?

Look, it’s not that I am unsympathetic to the pregnant women. I was a pregnant woman once. In my totally “uneventful” pregnancy I gained 50 pounds. I had a sharp debilitating pain in my upper abdomen for my entire second trimester that the doctors called “a little heartburn.” In my third trimester, I could not find a comfortable position, and could not get from one position to another without a great struggle.

Not only did no one give me a special parking space in the supermarket parking lot when I was pregnant, I was encouraged to walk. It was supposed to be good for me. My “office” at the time was a desk located in a storage loft of a sheltered workshop. I had to climb up and down stairs every time I had to use the restroom, which was all the time since I was pregnant. My boss did not seem concerned about this, and never considered finding a workspace for me on the first floor to save me this trouble.

Okay, so maybe I’m just jealous of today’s expectant mothers and their special treatment in the parking lots, but what about the “new parents of infant children?” They need a special spot, too?

I won’t even TELL you about the time that my younger sister and I flew to Boston with my six-month-old baby to visit my other sister. My sister was someone who prided herself on packing enough for a week’s vacation in a carry-on duffel bag, and I was also an everything-I-need-in-one-suitcase kind of gal. You would have thought we were packing for a six-week tour of Europe with the luggage we had on that trip, but we were really just flying somewhere with a baby.

Actually, the “new parents of infant children” who I know today are a plucky lot. They are marvels of ingenious organization. They juggle careers, and the babies, and a bunch of fun extracurricular activities for the whole family. And they still have time for Facebook. Taking the baby out is a cinch due to all the new-fangled contraptions young parents have today – like car seats that convert into a baby carrier without having to so much as remove the baby during the conversion. It is actually insulting to young parents to suggest they need a special parking spot when they take the baby to the supermarket.

Do you want to hear my parking lot fantasy? I see that empty spot in the crowded parking lot next to the handicapped spots, and when I get there I find that the spot is “Reserved for People Who Ache All Over But Don’t Quite Qualify as Handicapped.” Hey, that would be me!