The Great Weight Loss Challenge

My husband and I like to think of ourselves as youthful, fun loving folks. That’s all in our minds, of course, and our bodies continue to age no matter what we think about it. Both of us have been told by various doctors that losing weight might help or alleviate some of our troublesome conditions related to aging, so we finally bit the bullet, and, hand in hand, joined Weight Watchers.


Weight Watchers and I go way back, all the way to 1980. At the time I was just a fraction of what I weigh now and ashamed to be "fat" at a weight that I now consider to be VERY thin. However, I desperately wanted to lose 20 pounds so that I could wear a size 9/10 wedding dress to my first wedding.

The program worked, with its mixture of foods from different food groups (which were determined based on the nutritional value of the foods). I faithfully followed the program, weighing in weekly and attending the motivational meetings. I was proud when I met my goal, became a lifetime member and earned a black Weight Watchers pin, which I still have. Over time, I regained the weight and then some, because maintenance was not something Weight Watchers or I had mastered back in the 80’s.

The biggest difference going into the program now is that it isn’t really about weight this time. I am no longer ashamed of my weight and am totally comfortable in my own skin. I know now that people of various shapes and sizes can be healthy and attractive. My husband absolutely thinks I am beautiful just the way I am, and it has nothing to do with my weight. I am, however, very interested in being in good health. For me, eating right and exercising always seems to result in weight loss, so my optimum weight is definitely less than my current weight.

So here I am back in Weight Watchers, after all these years. I have to hand it to them, they have continued to take what they know about nutrition and tweak and revise the program to continually make it better, more effective and workable. The Points Plus program is light years ahead of the program I followed in 1980, totally flexible and actually individualized. I can keep track of my food and progress online, in addition to weighing in in person.

The other big difference this time around is that my husband and I are doing this together. While I had support from people around me in the past, and the meetings were always there if I needed them, it is different - and better - to be doing it with your life partner and housemate. In our case, it is just one more adventure we are exploring together, and we are actually enjoying the process.

It feels a little like we are in our own weight-loss reality show, without the abusive trainers and hosts or the downright dangerous forced exercise routines (no one forced us to run a mile our first day on the program). But it is about surviving challenges, in a way. There’s the Doughnuts and Birthday Cake at the Staff Meeting Challenge (just say no). There’s Eating Out at a Real Restaurant (that doesn’t provide nutritional counts for its food) Challenge – can you pass up the bread and the delicious dipping sauce which you did not account for when planning your meal ahead of time looking at the menu online? The Pizza Challenge - can you stop at just one or two pieces, so that you can eat something other than fruits or vegetables for dinner? You get the idea.

Of course, there’s no prize money, but there is a pay-off in weekly weight loss and long term improved health. And we can all be winners here – no one gets voted off this island.

Can't Tell the Foliage from the Weeds

Some people are born with a way with plants. I had a roommate who could make African violets bloom in the dead of winter. Our apartment was filled with her beautiful plants that she lovingly cared for, each with its own specialized watering and feeding schedule. Another friend had a similar knack, except that he treated all his plants the same – he watered them once a week and used their pots as ashtrays. His plants grew like Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors, including a small corn plant that grew to be 7 feet tall in just over a year. To my knowledge, none of them turned homicidal.

I, on the other hand, came into this world with a brown thumb. With the sole exception of the peace lily, houseplants wither in my care, no matter what I do. A helpful friend once wondered if I talked to them. Well, no, I didn’t. While I can generally keep up my end of any conversation, I simply don’t know what to say to a plant.

All this has led me to be generally oblivious to plants while maintaining a generic appreciation for them (i.e. I think flowers are pretty). Except for some of the more obvious ones (roses, tulips, sunflowers) I didn’t know one flower from another until a boss of mine put me in charge of a Mother’s Day Plant Sale fundraiser many years ago. I was a like a toddler learning the alphabet looking through those flyers of flowers.

When we moved into our dream house last year, it came with a yard full of unfamiliar and unsuspecting foliage that was suddenly under our care. We were delighted that we had a sour cherry tree in our front yard. My husband gathered sour cherry pie recipes, and had his cherry pitter at the ready. Every so often, he would eagerly check the berries, which, curiously, never seemed to ripen.

One day a passing neighbor remarked on the crab apple tree in our yard. Crab apple? The good folks at Soergel’s Farm Market verified that our sour cherries were actually crab apples. My husband quietly put away the recipes and the pitter, and we moved on, our dreams of homemade fruit pie dashed.

Another revelation upon moving here is that not all plants are desirable. Some of the plants that grow in our yard are weeds, and must be removed lest we invoke the wrath of the homeowners association. So, gamely, I bought a pair of decent gardening gloves, hedge clippers, and little gardening tools and I occasionally set out to weed the yard, probably long after others might have noticed that it needed to be done.

The problem? I don’t always know which of the plants are weeds and which are flowers. Oh, some are obvious – those awful jaggedy ugly things with the 6-inch roots are insidious and evil weeds that must be destroyed. Even I can see that. But others baffle me. My husband always says that anything that we didn’t plant and don’t want is a weed. Well, we didn’t plant any of it, and clearly some people have some strong ideas of makes a weed a weed, whether we treasure the plant in question or not. Some of the weeds have little flowers on them, and what about the clover? I don’t know where they came from, but I like them.

Then there is the issue of trimming the bushes. I thought bushes were supposed to be full. Isn’t that where the word “bushy” comes from? I try to trim them but somehow they just look like smaller versions of their original selves, not like the beautifully shaped and coiffed little shrubs that grace other peoples’ lawns.

Well, all I know is that the clover is staying. There might be a four-leaf clover in there somewhere, and I need all the good luck I can get.

Travels on the Pennsylvania Turnpike

So here we are again, traveling across this great Commonwealth of ours from Western Pennsylvania to New Jersey, a trip we make at least twice a year. Try as you might to find some better cost-free route, the only logical way to get there is on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, with all its glory and potholes.


Right now we are driving through a construction zone, which is to be expected in the summer. The curious thing is that this particular section of the road has been under construction as long as I can remember, with the same lane shifting and uneven roads that it always had.

On one hand, I appreciate the consistency. It is one constant in an ever-changing world, something on which you can rely. On the other hand, I have to wonder if they will ever finish working on it. How long can it possibly take? Shouldn’t 20 or 30 years have been enough time? One of the great mysteries of life, I suppose.

The road itself isn’t the fanciest, but it takes you where you need to go. It’s just a lot of trees, rest stops, and signs, with a few bridges, tunnels and farms thrown in, for good measure. The scenery can be pretty, if you like that sort of thing, especially in autumn, when the leaves turn. Our turnpike trips have become much more joyous since we broke down and got E-Z Pass, allowing “e-z” sailing through toll booths, and eliminating the need to have enough cash for tolls.

Our established routine on these trips goes something like this. My husband drives first, including our stop for fast food breakfast sandwiches and coffee on our way. I take over for the middle of the ride. If it is going to rain, this is usually when it happens (I am an inclement weather magnet). I turn the wheel back over to him for the final leg of the trip.

We are not driven to break speed records (no pun intended). We are perfectly happy to stop whenever there is a need. The rest stops are some of the most pragmatic establishments that you will ever find. They all have a gas station which has gas at the same outrageous prices you can find at home, not-always-clean-but-better-than-an-outhouse restrooms, and fast food. Whether you are at the state-of-the-art Sideling Hill rest stop (which features an entire convenience store), or one of the more modest stops, you can find all the necessities you might need on a road trip there, including maps, sunglasses, umbrellas, aspirin, reading material, and, perhaps most important of all, coffee. Conveniently, they also carry Pennsylvania souvenirs like coffee mugs and t-shirts.

Traveling on the turnpike is the great equalizer among people. No one cares who you are, how much money you make, or what you look like at turnpike rest stops. Folks of all walks of life bond together in a common experience. We all just want to refresh and replenish before resuming our quest to get where we’re going.

Back on the road, my husband and I pass the time with conversation and music, which is pretty much the way we pass the time everywhere else, too. The Hairspray and Big River soundtracks are some of our favorite traveling music, and Cool Yule by Bette Midler, the best Christmas album of all time, is as enjoyable in July as it is December.

To risk embarrassing a certain family member (she knows who she is), I will admit here that we also pass the time by singing, usually a medley of our favorite T.V. theme songs. My personal favorite is the theme from “The Patty Duke Show” (about “cousins, identical cousins”) but I also have a real soft spot for the duet we do to the theme from Green Acres, with me doing the Eddie Albert part, and my husband doing a spot-on Eva Gabor.

On this trip I have also found one more way to pass the time. The turnpike is a mighty fine place to write a blog. I finished this one before it was my turn to take over the driving.

How to Win on "Dancing with the Stars"

[DWTS contestants] come to my show an hour after being eliminated. Some cry; a few are too upset to talk. For some reason, once you start ballroom dancing on TV, you don’t want to stop.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Another season of Dancing with the Stars has come to an end, and I correctly predicted the outcome going into the finals. Hines Ward would win, Kirstie Alley would be second, and Chelsea Kane third.

I’ve watched this show from the beginning, and I know what it takes to win. Dancing well is just one part of it. Putting together a winning game plan takes much more than that. If you are a celebrity whose publicist is pestering you to compete on DWTS, you might want to take notes.

FAN BASE - Hines had the Steeler Nation behind him, so that’s extraordinary, but usually this is only important early in the competition. Your fans will take you only so far, unless your last name is "Palin," in which case they will, inexplicably, take you all the way to the finals.

THE “ROCKY” FACTOR – Kirstie was 60 years old, overweight and clearly not a dancer when she signed onto DWTS. We love a good underdog, and if you dance respectably and get better, we will vote you right into the finals, as we did for Kirstie.

WE’LL BE THE JUDGE - If America thinks that the judges have judged you unfairly, it may affect the way they vote. Say you’re dancing, and the audience at home is thinking, “Hey he looks pretty good!” Then the judges pipe in, and Len says you’re flat-footed, or Carrie Ann detects a lift that no one else saw, and they give you 5’s. Or, the judges rave about you when we were thinking you were just “okay.” The audience may try to literally even the score with their votes. This accounts for good dancers being voted out of the competition early, and probably hurt Chelsea, the winner of the new “Winner Takes All” dance, which earned her 15 (!) extra points from the judges, virtually assuring her a place in the finals.

PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS- As in life, attitude is very important in DWTS. We want to see that you are actually putting forth an effort to learn and perform the dances. Getting along with your pro dance partner, listening to the judges’ input graciously, cheering on your competitors, being a good sport if you get bad scores – all three of our finalists this season did this well.

MAKE 'EM LAUGH - While we expect you to take the dancing seriously, taking yourself too seriously can be your ticket home. So lighten up and have some fun. If you are uncomfortable, you will make us uncomfortable, too. Kirstie made us laugh and we want to be entertained.

HALLMARK MOMENT –The end of the competition is the time to make us cry, if you can. A compelling back story can go far in the finals. Hines had every single one of the winning factors, but absolutely clinched the win with his reaction after Kym Johnson, his professional partner, returned to dance in the semi-finals after suffering a horrific neck injury. He broke down and cried, and I cried right along with him. His back story about being half Korean and half black, his mother’s struggles, and how he became a football star despite not having an ACL definitely outdid the fact that Kirstie did a lot of cocaine when she was young. Chelsea had a totally blessed childhood and never knew a moment’s disappointment in her young life.

“MAKE OR BREAK IT” FREESTYLE - For heaven’s sake, choose your freestyle dance wisely. While it didn’t make  any difference this season you can win it or lose it with this dance. Marie Osmond lost the second she came out as a “doll,” and Jennifer Grey won it all the moment she carried that watermelon onto the stage wearing one of her Dirty Dancing outfits.

So there you have it – everything you need to know to win DWTS. If you hear they are looking for a color commentator, feel free to give them my email address.