When I heard that the parish where I grew up was demolishing my former high school - my alma mater - I was like Priscilla Lopez in A Chorus Line. I felt nothing.
The building in question was no longer St. Anselm High School when they decided it needed to come down. It was only used as a high school for about 20 years, and graduated its last class 35 years ago. Reportedly the building had some major problems that made it unusable, including a problem with asbestos, and the parish could not afford the repairs it needed.
They also tore down the freestanding gym, which had an unfinished ceiling of fully- exposed fluffy asbestos which would fall in clumps onto our heads when a lot of physical activity took place in the building where our gym classes and basketball games were held. I'm pretty sure that the gym was never technically usable. The physical activity they forced onto me there was bad enough; the asbestos falling on me while it happened was like pouring salt into the wound. I couldn't really be sorry about the gym coming down.
To me ultimately they were both just buildings. When buildings are destroyed through acts of terrorism or through natural disasters like hurricanes or tornados, especially when accompanied by loss of life or the loss of people's homes, that is tragic. But when an unoccupied building that happened to be my high school 35 years ago comes down I can't really get that excited about it.
All of this has had me thinking a lot about my high school years. I can't say they were the best years of my life, because I'm in the best years of my life (which began in my mid-forties) right now. I actually feel sorry for people who experienced their best years in high school, because for them life went downhill after the age of 18.
High school may well have been the longest four years of my life, though. So much happened to me, and to my friends, in those years. Some of it was good, some of it was bad, but it was all very eventful. If you asked me, I could write a book -or at least a couple of blogs - about my high school years. Actually, come to think of it, it might make a pretty good mini-series.
When I do think back on high school, I don't think about a building. The people with whom I shared my high school experience come to mind. The good, the bad, and the eccentric teachers. My friends and all my classmates, some of whom weren't friends at all. Some of my best friends today I met in kindergarten and we were in school together through 12th grade.
I have reconnected with many friends from high school in recent years, and because of social media we are able to stay connected in ways that just weren't possible when we graduated. We meet for dinner, get together for casual mini-reunions at Sparky's Spot, (a great little family restaurant owned by one of my old neighbors and classmates), and of course keep in touch on Facebook, where we share life events and photos from all over the world.
Many of my friends and fellow St. A's alums are much more upset about the high school and the gym coming down than I am, and I feel badly for them and their pain. But among the countless photos they are posting on Facebook featuring the high school and the gym before, during and after destruction there are photos of us when we were there.
The class photos from grade school. The French Club photos. A group of us on Senior Day when we got to leave our uniforms at home and wear "regular" clothes (which turned out to be colorful mini-dresses for most of the girls). The picture of my friend and me going to the Prom with hairdos that I suppose were fashionable at the time. And a couple of pictures from one of my favorite high school memories of all- one of our English Department field trips to the Shakespeare Festival in Stratford, Ontario, which happened in Canada far from that high school building in Swissvale,
In the one French Club photo, my eye fell on my pretty friend Debbie, one of my best friends who started attending St. A's with us in the fifth grade. Debbie and I remained close friends as adults and stayed in touch even when we lived in different states without the help of today's social media. We lost Debbie seven years ago. I would give you any building on earth to have her back.
For good homemade food at reasonable prices check out Sparky's Spot (owned by St. Anselm alum Joe Schaffer) on Route 8 in the Glenshaw/Allison Park area- http://www.jjnkids.com.
i was surprised a bit by your post only because i am one of those who are heart broken by the destruction ... (as i think you have surmised) ...i have cried many many a tear over it .. i cant really say why ..i wish i could stop, but i cant. i dont think it's actually just this one thing, but that it is a 'sign' of so very many things in our lives that has changed and how many years have passed in our lives.. the fact that we have less years left than we have lived... just makes me sad. right or wrong ... it does. and spending time in swissvale lately makes me miss my friends who are no longer with us ... and makes me long for the friendships of the past. you know i always say we were all so close growing up .. (a blessing or a curse i suppose depending on who you were) but i feel like i have 50 siblings that i dont see anymore ... again ..just makes me sad.. but that's just me .. (but i got my brick !)
ReplyDeleteAs I said in the blog, I feel for you and our other friends and classmates who are taking this so hard, but I just cannot get that upset about the building. I enjoy reconnecting and keeping in touch with people, but I can't see that it's healthy to dwell on the building and the past. My 89-year-old father told me that he is planning to live to be 100 because he is not ready to go yet, because "there is always something to look forward to." That's the way I want to live, too - enjoying and appreciating the present (which is as good as it gets) and looking forward to the future.
DeleteAMEN!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see your comments here, Sharon. I felt mixed feelings seeing the photos of the building being torn down. My memories of Pittsburgh are fading. I was there for 3rd, 4th, and 5th grades only. I had a great time in Swissvale growing up. I made some friends that have lasted. But.. I was probably only in that building 3 times in my life! I went to the gradeschool. I remember the gym, and throwing balls up to the ceiling and seeing the "snow" come down! Ugh.....
ReplyDeleteThe few times I've been back to Pittsburgh, I've gone back to the church and school to look around, and jog some memories. But more memories have been jogged by talking with my friends, and corresponding through email and facebook. I do hope to attend a gathering at Sparky's sometime, but can't say when I'll be back, since it's not on my agenda to head back to Pittsburgh.
I am rooting for the Pirates, even though I'm a Yankees fan. It's because of my memories of Forbes field, which isn't there anymore. Neither is the Civic Arena, or the Syria Mosque, which I have very fond memories of attending the children's concerts while in school at St. A's.
My life is very full and rewarding right now, and I'm always glad to hear from my old friends, I look at Facebook to see what you all are doing, and from time to time, will call John Clark to catch up.
3 years of my life, which were very important to me. I don't know what my life would have been like if we hadn't moved away. My mom died very shortly after we moved away, and that had a tremendous impact on the direction of my life.
A building? Yeah, you're right. But when I return to Pittsburgh, along with the steel mills, and the other things that have disappeared, the way I remember and the reality of what's there will have changed once again.
I really enjoy your blog! Keep it up!
Frank
Thanks, Frank, for your perspective, especially as someone who moved away before attending high school.
DeleteI really enjoyed catching up with everyone in our class a few years ago when we all "found" each other via e-mail, and when we were sharing the memories of our grade school years. John Clark is one of the people my husband and I had dinner with that I mention in the blog.
Honestly, I don't get back to Swissvale very often these days either since my Dad moved, even though I still live in the Pittsburgh area. And you're right about the landscape changing. There is no Forbes Field, but PNC Park is really a first class ball park. The Civic Arena is gone, but now we have the Consol Energy Center.
Recently, when we were on vacation, we visited Elmira, NY, and their local history museum had a really interesting exhibit of things that weren't there anymore - with signs from the now-gone buildings and artifacts from the businesses. It is inevitable that things (including businesses) will change, but we can remember what was while embracing what is.
Thanks for being a faithful reader and for your nice words about the blog!
you know what ? maybe that's part of the difference in feelings... i do go to swissvale all the time ..... my parents are still there so i pass it all the time .... now it will just be an empty spot .... hmmm
DeleteMaybe, but I don't think it would make any difference to me. Maybe different people just have different levels of attachment to buildings.
DeleteAll I can say, Sharon, is that those 2 buildings, and others long gone, helped conjure fond memories that may otherwise have been lost. In recent years I've experienced much change in my life, and certain elements, including the existence of St A's, have been helping me to heal. To me, although I understand that "it's just a building", it's just another loss. Otherwise, I have a very fulfilling life and have not gone downhill. Just trying to become whole once again.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, this is a lovely, thought-provoking blog! I'm very impressed. So happy to learn of your wonderful accomplishments.
I honestly feel your pain, and I understand what those buildings could possibly represent to you. I also am sorry that you have been through difficult times; I remember you as a sincerely and genuinely nice person.
DeleteOne of the reasons I wrote the blog is because, while it's true that I don't have the same sentimental attachment to buildings as many of our classmates, I was finding all the pictures of the school and gym in various states of destruction really disturbing, and I don't care about the building. I can't imagine how disturbing it is to those of you who do. And I don't think all those horrible images are helping anyone heal. I just wanted to point out that the building isn't the important thing - it really is the people.
Thanks for your kind words about the blog - I really appreciate it.