Sunday, June 2, 2013

Don't It Make My Right Word Wrong

I take pride in being a good speller and in having a firm grasp of the English language, as tricky as it may be at times.  I usually understand and use proper grammar, even if it means not always fitting in with those around me.  

Now there are several factors that make producing totally error-free communications a challenge for me, despite my affinity for spelling and language.  First, I cannot type.  Therefore,many times what looks like a misspelling is actually just a typo.  Secondly, my inherent lack of coordination will occasionally result in my mouth saying or my hand writing something different than what my brain is thinking.

Luckily I have had tools over the years to help me to overcome these challenges.  There have been the word processing programs that allow me to proof my work before preparing a final draft, and which include spelling-and-grammar checks that will flag what they think may be errors so that I can review them for accuracy.

God has also blessed me with people in my life who have a mission to keep me on the linguistic straight and narrow.  My sister and my husband (aka Mr. Rip) share a passion - some may even say an obsession - with proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, and are on some sort of quest to get the world to speak and write correctly.

Trust me, I never question the judgment of my sister or Mr. Rip when it comes to all things grammatical, and I do appreciate their help. Nonetheless, I have had to set limits with these "sticklers" who love me, drawing the line at sending back my letters with corrections made in red pen, or correcting the spelling or grammar of my latest Facebook post.

So, I was happy as the proverbial clam, writing accurate, correctly spelled and grammatically correct prose unless I chose to use a questionable turn of phrase for what I like to think of "color."  For instance, in a clear pop culture reference, sometimes I "can't get no satisfaction."  Or I'll start a sentence with a conjunction or (if I'm feeling particularly daring) split an infinitive.  But it was all up to me - I had total control.  If I did make an error it was my error.

So, then along comes Auto-Correct into my life courtesy of my I-Pad Mini.  Initially, I thought it would be nice to have this feature to correct my typos.  

But then I realized that the program was making other changes as well.  It was arbitrarily changing one word into another, based on nothing reasonable, and often changing a correct word into an incorrect word.  As it turns out,  the name "Auto-Correct" is a misnomer; it should be called "Auto-Change."

I would re-read something I wrote and I would see an incorrect word choice that I would never knowingly use - like the time it changed "its" to "it's" - this sort of word misuse is one of my pet peeves.  It was not okay with me for anyone to think that I made that mistake. Besides, the two words are homophones -why would it presume to decide which one I meant to use?

I started to suspect that my friends were also victims of Auto-Correct. One friend wrote that someone was "quiet appreciative."  That didn't seem right.  She probably typed "quietly" or "quite" appreciative.

My friend Karen shared what might be the most chilling example of Auto-Correct run amok when she told me a story about her friend whose phrase in a message to her was auto-corrected from "from there it"  to "chemotherapy" making her think that her perfectly healthy friend had cancer.  

Auto-Correct is not just a handy tool; it is a nefarious, possessed feature with a mind of its own, the likes of which you should never see outside a Stephen King novel.  I wanted out.   Was it possible? Could I just turn Auto-Correct off?  

As a matter of fact I could, and I did. I chose Settings - General - Keyboard - Auto-Correction OFF.  I immediately felt free, and, yes, lighter. I can now type the word "its" without fear.  

And what about those typos, you ask?  Well, I'm no fool. I left the Spell Check ON.

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