Figure Skating Police (2014 Sochi Olympics Variety)

Figure skating saw a lot of historic firsts during the 2014 Olympics including its very first Olympic team competition.  I like the addition of the team event and fully support its continuation mostly because I just can't enough of the Figure Skating events at a Winter Olympics.

One thing that hasn't changed is the controversy - allegations of unfair judging and fixed results, mostly by skaters who didn't do as well as they thought they should have and their countries.

So as I present Rip's Figure Skating Awards (2014 Sochi Olympics variety) please know that the FSA's (just like life and international ice dance competition judging) are entirely subjective and based upon absolutely nothing but my opinions.

Breakout Stars- Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski - Both fine skaters in their own right (Lipinski stole...er, I mean won...an Olympic Gold Medal over Michelle Kwan, and Weir was a National Champion and a Bronze Medalist at Worlds), they made their mark here as commentators of the live coverage of the Figure Skating events.  Johnny is as fabulous as always in this role, knowledgable but with a special flair (for instance, describing European pair skaters to penguins because they both partner for life).  They wowed everyone out of the commentators' box as well with their cutting edge fashions and general panache.

Nonetheless, my favorite skater-commentator of all time remains the one and only Scott Hamilton.  He combines thorough understanding of the sport with always enthusiastic reporting, celebrating a skater's victories and bemoaning their defeats on the ice without regard to nationality.  

Favorite Newcomer- Jason Brown  This 19-year-old American is spectacular, somehow making the team without a quad and routinely turning in engaging routines full of personality and technical excellence that wildly excite his audiences.  Terry Gannon said that he had a connection to his audiences that was "unprecedented" but that is ludicrous and false as many skaters have been able to enrapture their audiences with their routines, none more so than Scott Hamilton, who was sitting right there when he made this statement. Despite not medaling in the individual competition, Jason was photographed thoroughly enjoying his Olympic experience - taking selfies with friends and doing on-the-street interviews with the Sochi locals for a newsmagazine.

Sweetest Victory-  Meryl Davis and Charlie White  This was especially gratifying - not only were they the first American team to get the Gold in Ice Dancing, they did it with the highest-ever recorded score in ice dancing competitions.

Worst Kept Secret -- Charlie White is Dating Tanith Belbin  Both Charlie and Tanith were interviewed and talked about their relationship, which they have tried to keep quiet because Charlie didn't want to ruin the mystique of his on-ice relationship with partner Meryl Davis, especially while Tanith was still competing against him with her then-partner Ben Agosto.  I think I already knew they were dating back then, even before they started talking about it in publicized interviews.

Sourest Grapes--- Ashley Wagner and the entire country of Canada

Ashley Wagner complained about her finish in the Olympics when she skated without falling in the Free Skate while two women who outscored her fell in their programs, decrying the skating hierarchy and saying that the judging is unfair.  Is this the same Ashley Wagner who fell twice in the Free Skate at Nationals, legitimately coming in fourth, but was chosen over the Bronze Medalist to represent the US at the Olympics by the US Figure Skating hierarchy?  Did she question the fairness of her selection to even be skating at the Olympics?  

The Canadians are saying that their ice dancing team of Virtue and Moir, who share a coach and training space with Davis and White and who beat them for the Gold Medal in the last Olympics, was better and deserved to win.  Both couples skated beautiful and clean routines.

I don't know, Ashley, maybe your routine lacked in other elements, or you didn't skate an entirely clean routine, or whatever.  Maybe it isn't all about staying on your feet after the jumps, and maybe the other elements count too.  In any case you should have been grateful and humble to be skating in the Olympics at all.

As for you Canadians, I know you're still angry about what what down during the War of 1812 but that was 200 years ago.  The United States is not your enemy anymore, so you can move on.  These two ice dancing teams are clearly on the same competitive level, and the judges thought that Davis and White skated better than Virtue and Moir this time.

Oh, and Ashley?  About what you said about figure skating losing audiences if the judging doesn't go your way?  I wouldn't worry about that.  I've been watching since Peggy Fleming was America's figure skating sweetheart, and I have stuck around through some actual controversies in the sport.  Long after you've hung up your skates for good, the audience will still be there. 

Rip's 2014 Stay-at-Home Olympics

The 2014 Winter Olympics being held in Sochi, which is somewhere in Russia, are well underway.  

I can't tell you that much about the Games unless it pertains to the figure skating competitions, which I follow fervently.  Let me tell you, these are full of interesting twist and turns this year, some of which even have to do with skating.  

Once in awhile I might catch some other event if I have nothing else to do and there is nothing else on TV, and let me say that I admire Olympic athletes very much.  All the training and conditioning and athleticism - it's impressive, really.  Not just anyone can do this stuff. I know I can't. 

Heck, I get a little queasy just watching Skeleton, a sledding event in which competitors barrel down the course lying face down on this tiny minimal piece of sheet metal they call a "sled," their faces just an inch or two from the ice. The burning question here is why anyone ever thought to do this in the first place.

It's not that I'm not competitive in any activities.  It's just that none of them are Olympic sports.  So, what events would be included in the Rip Olympics?

Couch Sitting-  I can sit on the couch for hours and hours on end without stirring.  My stamina is unwavering - I can delay gratification foregoing food, beverage, and even a much-needed bathroom break indefinitely in my pursuit of sluggish inertia.

Spaghetti Eating - This would be my Gold Medal event in the larger Gluttonous Consumption division of the Games. Perhaps my prowess in this event comes because I began eating spaghetti at my mother's knee, thus beginning my training at a very young age.    

Storm Sleeping -  In order to compete in this event, I would have to overcome sporadic insomnia which plagues me even to this day.  However, once I have fallen asleep, I can sleep through any disturbance -even violent thunderstorms and fireworks at Soergel's pumpkin patch, which makes our house sound and feel like the inside of a popcorn popper.

BS-a-Thon-  "Out-Talk, Out-Chat, Out-Last," that's our motto in this event.  Beating your competitors here requires endurance- the ability to talk non-stop without a break until you are the last one talking.  Winning this one might be bittersweet as I suspect some of my stiffest competition will come from  family members.

Speed Talking-  Here the key is talking so fast that the human mind cannot quite keep up, while still enunciating every word.  Mr. Rip thinks I could be competitive here, but I know I would have stiff competition from John Moschitta and any actress/singer who sang, "I'm Not Getting Married Today" while playing the role of Amy in a production of Company.  If I were at my peak on the day of the competition, I might be able to battle for the Bronze.

Song Bursting - In this event, you have to identify the song lyric in someone's everyday conversation and immediately burst into a spirited version of the song upon hearing it.  Singing the first line or two of the song is sufficient, but you can earn additional points for 1) actually knowing the lyrics, 2) singing in tune without accompaniment, or 3) finishing the entire song.  Performing choreography while singing the song may make you an audience darling, but has no effect on your score. I am afraid the rest of you will just have to wait until I retire or an injury takes me out of the competition to have a chance at the top honors here.

  

On This Day My Child Was Born

    

It was February 13^th.  I was 8 ½ months pregnant and returning to work after my weekly gynecologist appointment.

My doctor said he thought I may come a little earlier than my February 28^th due date.  That was okay with me.  I had had enough of the whole pregnancy thing- the tremendous weight gain, the sharp pain in my abdomen they called “heartburn,” the inability to sit, stand or sleep comfortably.  I really did Ache All Over. I was more than ready to have my baby.

Snow was beginning to fall as I headed back to work, but I wasn’t worried.  The roads weren’t bad yet, and my workplace was just four miles from my house.  Nonetheless, I was pretty happy when I arrived at work safely, just in time for lunch.

When I stood up after lunch, I felt an unfamiliar sensation.  I realized with a shock that my water was beginning to break.  I calmly called the doctor’s office, and they advised me to return to the hospital immediately.  I wasn’t able to reach my husband, who was making deliveries for his family’s business in a time before cell phones.  I left the message with his mother that I would go home and pack my bag and he could just meet me at the house.

I let my boss and my friend and co-worker Joan know what was going on and left.  I got in the car, turned the key and…the car wouldn’t start.  I had turned the headlights on when I was on my way back to work in the snowstorm and left them on.  My car battery was dead.

Okay, so now I was beginning to panic.
  

I found Paul, my co-worker with jumper cables.  Paul felt strongly that a woman in labor should not be driving herself anywhere, especially in the snow.  He refused to jump my car.  I explained that I just planned to drive the few miles to my house, and probably wasn’t even technically in labor.  Paul didn’t care.  He offered to drive me anywhere I needed to go.  I explained to him that this was my only car, and I could not leave it there, dead, especially if I actually had the baby.  Paul was adamant.  We argued for several minutes.  I was getting desperate.  I begged.  I cajoled.  I cannot swear that I didn’t at one point grab Paul by the lapels and yell “Jump the damn car, Paul!”   Finally, Joan,  a very persuasive person, intervened and Paul grudgingly agreed to jump my car.

I drove home and packed my suitcase but hadn’t heard from my husband.  I called the doctor’s office.  “WHAT??!!!,”  the nurse said, “You mean you haven’t even LEFT yet?”  The last professional I saw get this excited was the whitewater rafting guide after I fell into the Youghigheny River.  I thought better than to mention the dead car battery.  She asked how long it would take me to get to the hospital.  About 30 minutes when it wasn’t snowing, I told her.   “Oh honey,” she said, “You need to get here RIGHT NOW!”

I called my mother-in-law to tell her that I was leaving for the hospital and to tell my husband to meet me there.  She offered to come pick me up, but after my conversation with the nurse I didn’t think I should wait. 

My mother also offered to drive me, which was very sweet but not really feasible.  My mother was terrified of driving in the snow, and lived in Swissvale, which was just about an hour away from my home in Washington, PA.  It would have taken my Mom 2 hours or more to pick me up and take me to the hospital in the snow, and I was certain that Mom would not want to drive in the snow and deliver her grandchild herself, at least not on the same day.

It was snowing a lot harder now.  When I finally arrived at the hospital, I told the doctor that aside from my water breaking and driving 30 miles in the snow, I was feeling fine.  He examined me and informed me that I was indeed having contractions and I was “officially” in labor.  Perhaps I was in shock as I drove to the hospital in the snow, and therefore numb to the contractions, or perhaps I had unknowingly been employing those breathing exercises they taught us in Lamaze class.

Meanwhile my husband had arrived back at the shop, and was so upset at the news that his parents did not trust him to drive himself to the hospital.  His family accompanied him, and his father drove.   He burst into the birthing room about an hour after I got there, in plenty of time for the birth.

I will not share all the minute details of the labor and delivery, because I hate when women do that.  However, I will tell you that I had to have a Caesarian section because the baby was large, and my birth canal was small.  I only mention this because I want everyone to know that there is actually a body part of mine that is too small, ironically located inside my body where nobody can see it.

At 10:15 p.m. on February 13, 1985, my beautiful, brown-haired, brown-eyed baby boy was born, 8 pounds and 9 ounces despite coming 15 days early.  When they put him into my arms, I was smitten- crazy about the kid from the start.  Every bit of the pregnancy and that day had been worth it.

That baby turns 29 today, which is older than I was when I had him. One word always comes to mind when I think of him- proud.  I am so very proud of the fine man he has grown up to be.   Here’s wishing my son a wonderful birthday, and hoping that the weather today is better than on the day he was born.

Something "Wicked" This Way Came

Good news, everyone!  The latest Broadway series production of Wicked wrapped up its six week run in Pittsburgh yesterday, so the coast is clear.  You can come back into the city again without fearing traffic gridlock and you should actually be able to find a parking spot within walking distance of your destination.  

In case you have somehow remained blissfully unaware of the phenomenon, Wicked is an immensely popular spectacle of a show that sells out even after running for years.  Like lemmings to the sea, whole families will flock to the theater to see it, over and over again.  Why, you'd think it was a large rubber duck docked at the Point or something.

Did you miss your chance to see Wicked while it was in town, or are you experiencing Wicked withdrawal symptoms?  Don't fret!  It will be back sooner or later - nothin's gonna bring IT down!  In the meantime there are several other fine shows in town because Pittsburgh has a thriving cultural scene (don't tell anyone, it's a secret!).  I braved the snow, the ice, the frigid temperatures and streets full of little girls in town to see Wicked to attend three fine productions of shows in the past month.  See, nothin's gonna bring ME down either.

Still yearning for a good show for the family all about a green outcast who prevails in the end? Try Pittsburgh Musical Theater's spirited production of Shrek the Musical at the Byham Theater.  This production, with its clever story and catchy score, is pretty faithful to the original animated film and features all the characters your kids and you have come to love, with some fart and burp jokes as a bonus.  The lead players are spot-on in this company and are supported by an ensemble which is bursting with youthful exuberance and huge voices, all the while never missing a step of the choreography.  But hurry!  The show only runs one more weekend (through January 16th).

Literally be the one of the first to see Judge Jackie Justice -a New Musical Comedy a world premiere commissioned by the Pittsburgh CLO and now showing at the CLO Cabaret.  Written by the hot new team of Koonan and Dimond (CMU grads), this is a show you don't want to miss-a witty satire with great music, exceptional performances, and a surprisingly well-written story with a nice little message. You will never watch Judge Judy the same way again.  The show is scheduled through April 27th.

Next door you can spend time with some pretty talented Company at the Pittsburgh Public Theater. This story of Bobby the bachelor and all his married friends takes a thoroughly entertaining if somewhat cynical view of relationships.  Pretty edgy at the time it first showed up on the scene in 1970, it reads more like a period piece now, but this production is a must-see for Sondheim fans.   It is just chock full of those clever hard-to-sing songs he likes to write so much, all delivered by performers with a staggering amount of talent.  There until February 23rd.

Whatever the show, you can have a wicked good time going to the theater in Pittsburgh.