I Can Do That Museum with Two Bathroom Breaks!

Now the only time I don't have to pee is when I'm peeing.

                                                                                            -Martin Short, on turning 60

Mr. Rip and I heartily enjoy a good museum.  Some museums contain a wide variety of artifacts  and artwork and others just focus on a particular topic.  It doesn't much matter to us because we're interested in lots of different stuff and the history of it and good art representing it.  We're eclectic that way.

We have visited five museums since Labor Day, four of them in our trip to Corning, NY (with a side trip to Elmira, N.Y.) this past weekend. When we arrived at the Rockwell Museum of Western Art a few days ago Mr. Rip looked around and said, happily, "Hey, I think that we may be able to do this museum with just one bathroom break!"

Yes, folks, this is what it's come to.  We were not exactly young when we took up with each other 11 years ago, but one thing has changed as we have "matured."  We have to go the bathroom more often than we used to. I choose to think that this is due more to the fact that I have studiously followed the advice of health care professionals to drink more liquids in order to stay healthy (with mixed results) than to my advancing years, but whatever the cause, the facts remain the same.

Of course, while there is nothing quite as challenging in a museum as there is in the ballpark (see "Ache Me Out to the Ball Game," last week's blog) there are other factors to consider in navigating the museums for those of us who have lived long and more or less prospered.  Is it walkable?  If you can't walk without aids like walkers or wheelchairs, is it accessible?  Is there anywhere to hang your coat while you schlep around the museum?   But they all pale in comparison to whether or not you can get to a restroom when you need one.

Here are capsule reviews of our five latest museums, with the most important information at the end.

FALLINGWATER, Fayette County, PA

The magnificent design and architecture of Frank Lloyd Wright's masterpiece never fails to inspire awe, even on a repeat visit.

3 Bathroom Breaks - but I was only able to take two! There are NO restrooms at the house itself and the tour and the absolutely mandatory   ground-roaming to get post-tour photos can take a couple of hours. Take my advice and don't drink anything for a few hours or so before you arrive.

CORNING MUSEUM OF GLASS Corning, NY

Everything you ever wanted to know about glass but were afraid to ask.  You can spend a full day -or two!- there, seeing glass in every conceivable form and usage, and that's just in the gift shop.  Ha! I jest, but seriously there were displays of glass objects, the history of glass, glass-blowing and glass-breaking demonstrations, and the chance to make your own glass item. All totally worth it, but reserve your space ahead of time if you want to make a glass item of your own to take home.

4 or 5 Bathroom Breaks   Actually I spent so much time there that I lost track, but there were bathrooms on every level, so I didn't really have think about it.

ROCKWELL MUSEUM OF WESTERN ART Corning, NY

This was my chance to experience the American West and should hold me until I actually get to go there.  The museum was so great that Mr. Rip and I wished there were more of it, especially since two exhibits had been "deinstalled" to make way for new exhibits opening next week.  We liked it so much we bought the official book of the museum so we could continue to enjoy the art  and learn more about it when we got home.

2 Bathroom Breaks - Mr. Rip underestimated (or overestimated?) me.

CHEMUNG HISTORICAL SOCIETY MUSEUM Elmira, NY

Our visit to this museum and to Elmira was all about Mark Twain, one of my literary heroes, who summered in Elmira with his wife's family and who is buried there.  A nice little one-floor local history museum with special exhibits of signs of places that don't exist there anymore, local education and baseball, and a permanent exhibit that included enough Mark Twain information and paraphernalia to satisfy me.  For $2.00 each we had the place to ourselves - such a deal!

0 Bathroom Breaks -Technically, but I went once just in case.  A pre-emptive strike.

ARNOT MUSEUM OF ART - Elmira, NY

A small museum with a small and very eclectic collection of fine art. Only three of the five galleries were open for viewing, but I scored a cool Mark Twain postcard while I was there, so it was worth it.

1 Bathroom Break - conveniently located right by the entrance.

Well, I need to go now.  I'll let you guess where I'm going.