The Color Purple

I recently caught an episode of Betty White's Off Their Rockers, a Candid Camera-like hidden camera show, only with old folks the ones playing the jokes on younger folks.

Hey, I thought, maybe this was the reason that strangers had been saying bizarre, random things to me in public places lately.  Perhaps I was the unwitting victim on a Franklin Park-based hidden camera show!

First there was the lady at the YMCA who told me I smelled nice.  Then two days later I was perusing the choices in T-Bones' prepared salad section, minding my own business, when I heard a voice behind me.

"Wow.  Purple."

I turned to see a man who looked like a normal person eyeing my jacket, which happens to be purple.

"I really like the color purple," he continued. "My school colors were purple, and I have a high school reunion coming up."

Well now, that was some school spirit, I thought.  I was never good at guessing ages, but it had to be this guy's 20th or 30th high school reunion.  Did he really think that everyone was going to dress in school colors?  Had I been remiss by not wearing blue and gold when getting together with my high school friends, I wondered.  The man continued talking.

"I wish I had a purple jacket like that," he said wistfully.

I have never been one of those people who was good at thinking of the right thing to say  at times like these.  I always think of the snappy comeback about an hour after I need it. That's one of the reasons I like writing this blog - I can share those never-used snappy comebacks that would otherwise be totally wasted.

But this time was different.

"For the right price, you could have this one," I told him, jovially.

I was basking in the glory of my wit when I realized that this guy might be taking me seriously.  I hate it when people, even purple-obsessed strangers in T-Bones, don't get my jokes.

He stopped in his tracks, and began to look at the jacket intently.  This man was actually considering buying the purple coat off my back, right there in T-Bones. For a brief fleeting second I wondered how much he would be willing to give me for the coat... but then quickly decided that it was time to put an end to the madness.

"I'M JOKING," I clarified, "You can't really buy my jacket."

He looked disappointed, but allowed the lady who was with him (who WAS laughing) to gently lead him away.  I left the store still a proud owner of not just my purple jacket, but also a brand new witty comeback to call my own.

I didn't see any hidden cameras, but that's why they're hidden.