Crossing to the Other Side

Something wasn’t quite right about the top I was trying on at Dress Barn Woman.  I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly.  It was a 14/16, my “new” size.  Maybe it was just the way it was made. 

I tried on the second shirt I brought into the dressing room. It was nice, and it fit, but it was, I don’t know, maybe just a little…loose?  I stared at myself in the mirror for a full minute or two letting that sink in. Yes, it was true – the blouse wasn’t TOO loose, but definitely a LITTLE loose. 

Now I was confused.   What was I going to do about buying tops?  A 14/16 or a 1X was the smallest size that Dress Barn Woman carried.  Then I remembered that Dress Barn had Another Side.

The Other Side is called “Dress Barn Misses” and carries clothes of some alternative size for female people unlike me.  According to Dress Barn, I have always been a “Woman” (aka a plus size gal).  I had never really been on that Other Side of the store before, although I knew it existed. 

I walked out of the dressing room and looked in the direction of the Other Side.  Should I just take a look over there?  I debated with myself.  Oh, what would be the point, I thought.  After all, that blouse was only a LITTLE loose; surely an Extra Large would still be too small.  Well, I told myself, that red winterish jacket I bought and love so much is just an Extra Large.  Yes, but I found that on the 85% off rack, and it had arms long enough to fit an orangutan.   It was clearly mislabeled.

I finally talked some sense into myself.  For heaven’s sake, the Other Side of the store was just a few feet away, and it wouldn’t hurt just to look.  Slowly I walked in the direction of that side of the store, past the cash register, through the jewelry and scarves and belts that separate the two sides, to the edge of the Other Side.

I stopped for a moment, and just looked into the sea of clothes made for “regular” people.  Finally, I took a breath, closed my eyes, and stepped in.

Hey, the clothes over there were just like the clothes on the “Woman” side, only smaller!  It was gratifying to know that Dress Barn made the same clothes for all sizes of women, and did not presume that all plus-sized women only wanted shapeless muu-muus or drop waist dresses.  Hmm, they were also less expensive than their plus size counterparts, as much as $4.00 cheaper for a casual top, in clear discrimination against larger people.  But don’t get me started.

I saw the same top I had first tried on that didn’t seem quite right.  For the first time it dawned on me that maybe it might just have been too big.  No, that couldn’t be it, could it?  It seems that I couldn’t stop arguing with myself that day.  I decided to try it on, and…it fit perfectly!  In an Extra Large, everything sat right where it needed to be.

So that’s the story of the day I bought an Extra Large top at Dress Barn Misses (not Woman).  Of course, I will not be able to buy all my clothes on the “regular” side of the store, because of my very irregular body-  my top half has begun to flirt with regularity, but my bottom half is still very much a “womanly” plus size. 

Once a pear shape always a pear shape, but it is a much smaller pear these days.

Tea and Jewelry and Makeup and Food Storage

I went to my very first Tupperware party when I was in my 20’s.  I liked the stuff, and the next thing you know I was hosting a party where I could earn some Tupperware of my own.

And that’s how that ball of wax got rolling.  Over the following decade I lost count of the number of Tupperware parties I attended, and because I was at the age when I still couldn’t say no, I hosted two parties at home, in addition to being one of lots of hostesses at a Tupperware Bingo at the Houston (PA) Volunteer Fire Hall.  Yes, that really happened.  I can’t make this stuff up, folks.

I regret none of it, because I love my Tupperware.  I could go on and on about the products.  The cake and pie “takers”, and the space saving pitchers that fit in the refrigerator door, the divided vegetable tray, and the biggest-mixing-bowl-in-the-world.  I also have two large plastic, water-and-air-proof Tupperware photo boxes, which I bought back in the olden days before we started storing our photos on the computer.

But hands-down the best Tupperware item I own is my little “storganizer,” a sleek, unassuming tri-layer plastic brown box with compartments that hold little items like pens, and paper clips.  This little box has moved with me four times to two different counties, and continues to sit faithfully next to me on the end table in the living room.

For many years no one invited me to Tupperware or any other kind of home demonstration parties.  I don’t know why.  Was it because I now answered invitations with, “I would love to come, and will definitely buy something, but really, I don’t want to have a party.”?

The drought ended with an invitation to a Silpada party a few months ago.  I had received some Silpada jewelry as a gift from my husband and it was really beautiful, so I was happy to attend the party, check out the inventory, and add to my collection.

Then a friend invited me to a Premier Designs jewelry party.   Their jewelry was fun and funky, and while I only bought one piece at the party, in a moment of whimsy I decided it might be fun to have a party myself to buy a few more pieces, and get a few dollars off.  I decided that I would make it a tea party with little finger sandwiches and scones and iced tea, and call it “Tea and Jewelry.” Just like it is with my blog, once I had the title, I was good to go.

The representative told me that the goal would be to have 10 people at the party.  That would be about right, I thought, because it had my experience way back when that I would invite every lady I ever knew to these parties, and no matter what the total number was, 10 people would show up.  This time was no exception.  I had exactly 10 people at my party, and my friend who had the party I attended also made a purchase although she could not attend in person.

So, as promised, we had tea, and jewelry, and a delightful visit.  We learned things about Premier Designs, and jewelry in general.  For instance, did you know that if you wear an extra-long necklace it instantly makes you look taller AND 15 pounds thinner?  I wish I would have known that before I embarked on my diet more than a year ago.  That 15-pound head start would have really been helpful.  As a bonus I earned more than $500 (!) in free jewelry.  I made sure my shopping spree (that resulted in a whole wardrobe of new jewelry) included at least one extra-long necklace.

You know that old saying about when it rains, it pours?  I was invited to a Mary Kay party.  Now I am ever interested in covering flaws and minimizing the ravages of age on the appearance of my face, so I attended eagerly.   At one point, my friend Emily (who was the Mary Kay rep) asked the crowd, “What is your biggest complaint about your eyelashes, ladies?” 

“They’re too short and stubby,” I replied without hesitation.  That was the right answer.  I haven’t yet received my Mary Kay Eyelash Serum that I ordered to actually make my eyelashes grow, so I’ll have to report back to you on that, but I can give a wholehearted recommendation of their red lipstick, which is a nice dark shade that stays on even after you eat and drink.

I thought I was finished but then the Pittsburgh CLO announced that “Dixie’s Tupperware Party” would be taking up residence at the CLO Cabaret for the next several weeks.  Rumor has it that our hostess, Dixie Longate puts on quite a show and actually sells Tupperware in the lobby during the show.  So, in the second week of October, I will be coming full circle and my husband and I will have a chance to replenish our Tupperware supply.

It sounds like fun…as long as Dixie understands that I am NOT going to be hosting a party.

If you want to check out Dixie’s Tupperware Party for yourself, check out http://www.pittsburghclo.org/shows/view/52/refer:upcoming-shows or call 412-456-6666.   

September: Allegheny County

I just got home from seeing August: Osage County for the very first time at the Pittsburgh Playhouse REP Company, and I am still basking in the glow of this stunningly excellent afternoon of theater.  Tracy Letts has crafted a practically perfect play: alternately dramatic, tragic, and wickedly funny.   Let me tell you, the Weston family takes being dysfunctional to new heights.  Violet, the matriarch of this family, makes Mama Rose look like Mother Teresa.  I hope for Letts’ sake that this is not an entirely autobiographical piece.

If you love good, intelligent, compelling theater, you should really make a point of seeing August: Osage County.  Heck, if you just want to feel better about your own family, you should check out this show.

Actually, I am already crazy about my family, but then we have practically nothing in common with the Westons.  Well, there were three sisters in their family, and there are four sisters in mine.  And there was one scene in the play when everyone was talking at the same time at dinner, and we do that, too, but we can’t help it – we’re expressive and demonstrative and Italian.

But that’s where the similarities end, really.  Because we live all over the country, we rarely are altogether in the same place, but this past June we were very fortunate to have most of the immediate family (and several cousins) in town to spend one long weekend together to celebrate my father’s 88^th birthday, and really, it went so much better than the Weston’s get-together.  While we like to think of ourselves as interesting and eccentric, we are also pretty darn functional when you get right down to it.  I’m not sure that anyone would write a play about us, which is a very, very good thing.

But that’s just the family I was lucky enough to be born into.   Actually my whole mishpochah (i.e. entire, extended family) is a pretty great group of people.  When I married my husband, I also got the bonus of becoming a member of his wonderful family, who I love like my own.  Every year, we spend Thanksgiving with the whole gang and I am happy to report that they’re nothing the Westons either.  And, without them, I wouldn’t even know what a mishpochah was.

They say that you can choose your friends but not your family, but that’s not entirely true.  My ex-husband’s family, the first family I married into, and I had the chance to part ways when that marriage ended, but we just didn’t want to let go of each other.  I am very grateful to say that they are still my family, too, and a terrific group of people.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of family lately, what with my dad’s 88^th birthday celebration, and our open house last week when the house was filled with family, and friends who are like family.  But we are also really thrilled to have welcomed a new member to the family recently.  We already love our son’s new girlfriend, who is a beautiful young woman, inside and out.  We met her equally lovely mother this past weekend. I am so happy to be able to assure them that we are nothing like the Westons.

Friends and Family in the House

It really doesn’t take a lot to please my husband and me.  We are absolutely over the moon about our new garbage can, with its sleek narrow design, and its foot-operated lid and the way that the lid slowly closes itself without slamming.  Its fits perfectly by the end of the counter in the kitchen, and I still haven’t used it without stopping and watching in admiration as the lid gently floats  down to meet its can.

Just across the way in our kitchen sink lives our new faucet AND a new trash disposal, which came to us all on the same day. It was almost too much excitement to bear.  Mind you, we didn’t rush frivolously to this transformation.  In fact, we had been talking about the fact that we might replace our faucet “someday” from the day we moved into the house two and a half years ago, and had recently purchased one at our local hardware store to be installed “someday.” It more recently became apparent that perhaps the trash disposal might be having some health issues, and it too went on the “someday” replacement list.

“Someday” came when the trash disposal sprung a leak.  The time for action was NOW, or possibly yesterday, but at any rate we called the plumber.

So let me tell you about the new faucet.  It has a spray feature that enables you to actually rinse off a dish effectively.  Oh, how I had missed this feature in the old faucet!  Sometimes I just rinse something off now to enjoy my new found power.  And the trash disposal?  Quiet as a whisper.  The first time I used it I wondered if it was working, but it was – just quietly.

Over in the bathroom, we have a snazzy new toilet paper holder that holds extra toilet paper rolls so one is never caught unprepared.  There was one like it at my chiropractor’s office that caught my fancy, and I was unbelievably happy when I found one to purchase.

But it’s not all been about garbage and other waste.  No, the pieces de resistance are in the living room.  We have new Mission-style end tables that sit beautifully at either end of our much-loved love seat.   We chose and purchased these ourselves, and they actually– wait for it-  match.  Grandma’s end table has moved to the loft, and the small table that sat at the other end of the love seat has moved to the dining room where such tables belong.

Yesterday, we held our annual Open House for our local family and friends, who really couldn’t care less about these niceties.  If we throw the party, they will come.  At least a handful attend specifically for the candied bacon or the spinach pie (hey, we take them anyway we can get them), but we know that all come, in part at least, because they like us.  Some come bearing food to add to the bounty or plants or wine.   At least one friend who is an antique dealer who usually brings furnishings for the house – always something that would go perfectly in one of our rooms.
  

Sometimes, our friendly local policemen drop by to remind us about the on-street parking regulations, and the consequences for ignoring them.  Really, the officer who came by this year couldn’t have been nicer about it – we had a very nice chat.  Our guests were real sports about moving their cars to the Clubhouse parking lot, and I couldn’t help but feel a little self-satisfied that even at my advanced age I can throw a party that brings out the police.

In years past, our guests used the faucet that stuck, and put garbage in the substandard garbage can and were happy to set their glasses on the mismatched tables in the living room or forage around for another roll of toilet paper.  This year they admired our new possessions with heartfelt appreciation and happiness for us.

Mostly they bring their wonderful selves to the party.  These are the people we are so lucky to have in our lives, for one day filling our home with hearty conversation, and laughter and love.  To a one, they’re even better to have around than a fancy new garbage can.