Mothers-in-Love

Mothers-in-law get a bad rap. Comedians make jokes about them. They are portrayed as meddlesome and interfering. I’ve never quite understood it. Why should the person who gave birth to and raised someone you love enough to marry automatically be a nemesis? Maybe it’s just that I have been twice blessed in that department.

Remember, I met my husband’s parents and family when I attended my very first Bar Mitzvah, but they went out of their way to make me feel welcome. And I did. They are family to me now, just as surely as the family into which I was born. My in-laws also “adopted” my son, and they treat him like another grandson. Each year, my mother-in-law and father-in-law host the entire extended family (sometimes as many as 23 people) for Thanksgiving. And every year I think of how appropriate it is, because I am so very thankful to be a part of their family.

My mother-in-law is a warm and caring woman who treats me like family – she is proud of my accomplishments and hurts when I hurt. She is honest and has a great sense of humor, traits she passed onto her son, who is the love of my life and best friend. Of course, we share one major interest – the happiness of her son- but it goes beyond that. I really like my mother-in-law. She is someone I would want as a friend, even if we were not tied by marriage.

I had also been very close to my ex-husband’s family. It’s a funny thing when a marriage ends – in a way you are breaking up with your soon-to-be ex’s family as well. These are the people who you shared life’s milestones with, in my case for 20 years. No matter how right it was for my ex and me to part ways I didn’t really want to lose his family. As it turns out this would not be necessary.

My former mother-in-law also was caring and loving person. She was someone who routinely cared for others- her family, the members of her church’s congregation, her friends, and all the stray dogs in the area. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when she essentially refused to give me up after the divorce. As she put it, she didn’t divorce me. She stayed in touch, and was genuinely happy for me when I found such happiness with my husband. Despite being a devout born-again Christian, she also loved my husband, who is Jewish. She always remembered our anniversary. When my former sister-in-law got married in an intimate ceremony with just the most immediate family present, we were invited and we attended. So, for the past six years, I have been fortunate enough to have two wonderful mothers-in-law in my life.

On Thursday, my ex-husband called me to tell me that his mother had passed away. It was not unexpected – she had been battling cancer for the past few months. She was able to come home and spend the last few months of her life in her home with her family around her. My husband and I were able to visit her about a week before her death, and although she was very weak, she recognized us and was so very happy that we came. We had the chance to hold her hand and embrace her one more time. She had such a strong faith that I know that she is resting peacefully with the Lord right now.

Her memory will certainly live on in all our hearts.

"Nine" Lives (The Critics Must Be Crazy)

I won’t go to see just any movie on Christmas Day. Essentially, it has to be what I refer to as a feel-good movie: something upbeat or positive or happy or maybe even inspirational. My ideal is a big, splashy musical (like Dreamgirls) which actually opens on Christmas Day. I do not want to see anything that is too dark or depressing or disturbing.

Last year, the musical opening on Christmas was Sweeney Todd, Tim Burton’s dark interpretation (as though the source material needed to be any darker) of the misadventures of the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Although this was the movie adaptation of one of my husband’s favorite stage musicals of all time, it was unfortunately not Christmas movie material even though it was a musical. Another movie of interest in the theaters at the time was Doubt, a psychological drama about a fierce, unyielding nun who accuses a priest of misconduct. I’ve known a few fierce, unyielding nuns in my day, and I wouldn’t have wanted to spend Christmas with any of them.

We ended up seeing Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler, a fun, lightweight fantasy good for the whole family. Mr. Sandler was as charming as usual, and the movie included a little of everything- clever fantasy premise, romance, adventure, special effects, cute kids, and even a computer-generated hamster sidekick. Perfectly sweet movie for Christmas, and one that probably never would have made it into our Netflix queue (as Sweeney Todd and Doubt both did).

This time it was easier. Nine, Rob Marshall’s movie version of the stage musical based on Fellini’s 8 ½ , was opening on Christmas Day. We had seen the Conservatory Theater Company of Point Park University’s very good stage production a few years ago, and the promos for the movie proclaimed, “if you liked Chicago, you’ll like Nine!” As a matter of fact, we did like Chicago- we liked Chicago a lot.

Nine turned out to be a thoroughly enjoyable, visually interesting, superbly acted musical which completely lived up to the promo. Daniel Day-Lewis is believable and charismatic as the conflicted director, Guido Contini, who is weathering a creative slump by examining his relationships with the women in his life.

Guido’s women are played by some of the most fabulous women to ever grace the screen. Marion Cotillard is absolutely luminous and breathtakingly beautiful as Guido’s long suffering wife, while Penelope Cruz oozes messy sexuality as his mistress. Judi Dench competently plays his costumer and confidant, and shows her song-and-dance chops in her own production number. Kate Hudson plays an American journalist and was made up to look exactly like her mother, Goldie Hawn, did in her “Laugh-In” days. Fergie, the lead singer of the Black Eyed Peas, is amazing as an Italian prostitute in “Be Italian,” arguably the show’s best musical number. Sophia Loren plays his mother and Nicole Kidman is his actress muse.

Was it perfect? Not exactly, but then what is? In the stage version, the story took place entirely in Guido’s head, and I wished it would have stayed there in the movie. Instead, they decided to open it up, it took place in real time, and they introduced men into the story. Guido’s producer, the Judi Dench character on stage, was now a man, and there was one scene where Guido has a meaningful meeting with a Cardinal. Neither of these characters was necessary nor did they add anything to the story. But then I would rewrite or edit the books of many musicals that I basically enjoy. Nine’s fabulous musical numbers could carry the movie all by themselves without any pesky story at all, if need be.

Shockingly, many critics loathed Nine. In fact, only 28% of the critics listed on RottenTomatoes.com recommended it. To give it a qualified thumbs up, or to take issue with some parts of it I could understand, but to completely trash it? I was, simply, baffled.

The most puzzling critique I came across in my cursory review of the representative comments provided by Rotten Tomatoes came from Sean O’Connell of the South Charlotte Weekly, who wrote that Marshall “hires eye candy over proven entertainers” in the movie. Really? Well, I’m sure that Judi Dench is used to that criticism- she probably hears it all the time. Let’s see, Day-Lewis, Dench, Loren, Cruz, Cotillard, and Kidman are all Oscar winners in acting categories, and Hudson has been nominated for her work in the past. What do they have to do, exactly, to prove themselves as entertainers to Mr. O’Connell?

It’s not just the critics who get it wrong, though. Sometimes I stand by, incredulous, as “America” chooses the wrong Idol, or helplessly watch two favorite new TV shows, Pushing Daisies and Eli Stone, perish because they didn’t find an audience despite being a favorite of the critics.

Sometimes I just want my voice to be heard. I want to talk some sense into the critics or “America.” So let me shout it from the blogosphere! Nine was fine and dandy, just like a hard candy Christmas. Don’t listen to the crazy critics, people. Listen to me. If you like Daniel Day-Lewis or the type of big, beautiful musical production numbers that Rob Marshall does so well, you should like Nine. Actually, the promos were accurate in this case. If you liked Chicago, you most probably will like Nine.