Manners for Motorists

Now that the G-20 has wrapped up and we are all flocking back to the city, I am reminded what unhappy and sullen people commuters can be. I have come to the conclusion that the things that annoy drivers could be minimized and even eliminated if only we could all be, well, nicer.

Surely the commuter trail could benefit from the exercise of a few manners. With a few simple rules to follow, the whole process could be so much more civilized, not to mention safer. So I thought I would put together a few tips for those of us who forge our way into the city each morning.

Do not have an accident or breakdown in, or leading up to or away from, a tunnel or bridge.

People who engage in this sort of behavior probably have some repressed control issues, but I just know that we can’t condone it. It holds the rest of us up and accelerates the aging process. You’re probably thinking that you can’t help it, but just remember what Freud said – “There are no accidents.” Surely you can will that car out of that tunnel and off the side of the road before you break down. As for those disturbed individuals who sometimes hop out of their cars and walk through the tunnels for no reason, we have to question the fact that they have a license to begin with.

Maintain your speed when it rains.

Take my word for it- it really isn’t obligatory to slow down in a gentle drizzle or even in a nice steady rain. The rainy situations in which reduced speeds are necessary will be apparent if you just allow common sense to guide you. If you are blinded by the blowing, driving storm, or fear hydroplaning, by all means slow down.

Do slow down in the snow, sleet, ice or hail.

Treacherous winter weather will bring out the most macho tendencies in those same people who slow to a snail’s crawl in light rain. Do not tear impatiently and rudely past your fellow motorist during a blizzard. Remember the tortoise and the hare- slow and easy wins that race. Believe me, your frazzled nerves when you finally reach home safely are nothing compared with the angst overturning your car will cause you.

Practice courtesy in allowing your friend in the next car into your lane.

We all know that merging is a “catch as catch can” situation, but if we just take turns and let one car into our lane at a time it would make it much easier. Certainly if someone is already partially in your lane and is inching his or her way in front of you, to speed up to cut them off is just plain rude.

Thank people who do let you into a lane.

This isn’t really expected, but it is this kind of little extra that really makes a civilization, don’t you think? Just a simple wave of the hand may make someone smile in these adverse conditions, or at the very least, make them feel a little sheepish for the bad thoughts they were thinking about you.

Avoid hitting another car in order to prevent hitting a pothole.

Instinct will tell you to “SWERVE!” when you see that pothole up ahead. Nonetheless, you must take a second to assess the rest of your surroundings before acting. In either case, you might wreck your car, but it would be considerate of you not to involve the guy next to you. If these unselfish motivations do not speak to you, just think about your insurance rates.

Never, EVER shoot anyone in one of the other cars.

Although all commuters occasionally feel overwhelmed with the need to vent their frustration and anger, it is always in bad form to pull a gun on anyone. Shouting profanities and using obscene hand gestures are certainly on the edge of being considered bad manners, but can be considered acceptable especially if you are in a fairly soundproof car with the windows rolled up. It is certainly preferable to shooting someone. After all, as they are cuffing you, you will almost certainly see your response as an overreaction to whatever your victim did to provoke you in the first place.

Manners aside, our goal here is to come out of it all alive.