Rip's Turn - Rating the "Roses"

There is absolutely nothing quite like performing the role of Mama Rose in Gypsy.

I had the chance in 2007 at Heritage Players in Bethel Park.  It was special for a number of reasons.  It was the first (and to date, the only) time that I have ever been directed by my husband, who turned out to be an intelligent, insightful director with strong ideas about the character, and his guidance helped me immensely in inhabiting this wonderful, strong and not-so-nice character.

It was also the only time I ever shared a role.  I met Joyce, my co-Mama Rose, for the very first time at the read-through for the show, and I couldn’t have chosen a better acting “partner” myself.  Joyce is a sweet person and an excellent and thorough actress, and I learned so much as we took on the part together, watching her as we took turns rehearsing scenes, and discussing things as we went.  I was a better Mama Rose because of Joyce, who is now a wonderful friend and kindred spirit.

But on stage the highlight of playing Mama Rose was performing “Rose’s Turn”, Rose’s big final nervous-breakdown-of-a-show-stopping-production-number.  Luckily, I can’t get enough of watching other actresses perform the number, because my husband recently found and shared the link to “THE SCREENING ROOM: Here They Are, World! A Dozen Divas Sing Gypsy's "Rose's Turn[Videos]," which was published on Playbill.com on August 23.  http://www.playbill.com/news/article/169353-THE-SCREENING-ROOM-Here-They-Are-World-A-Dozen-Divas-Sing-Gypsys-Roses-Turn-Video

After a thorough review, I will say that the Playbill Staff (who collectively received the credit for the article) was pretty comprehensive in digging up performances, even though they did include all-audio versions when video versions of a performance did exist.  Here’s my take on the Roses and their Turns as featured in the Playbill article:

The Original - Ethel Merman-  What can I say?  The part was created and written for Ethel, and she was amazing.  This was just an audio version, and, sadly there is no video of Ethel performing it, so it seems that her full video performance is lost to history.

The Wannabe - Liza Minnelli  Clearly, Liza coveted the role of Mama Rose although, to my knowledge, she never actually played the part on stage in the show.  More’s the pity.   Some People is one of Liza’s signature songs (several different performances of this can be found on You Tube), and you deserve to treat yourself to a viewing of Liza performing Everything’s Coming Up Roses on the Muppet Show.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_-CWHvM1ws  As for this Rose’s Turn, no one did it better  than Liza, with her totally unique growl of a delivery, all natural energy and anger, even if she was all decked out in her sparkly pantsuit for her concert.

Manchurian Mama-Angela Lansbury- This was an audio-only version but the Playbill Staff did include a very poor quality grainy clip-reel of Angela’s numbers from the show, which include a short portion of Rose’s Turn.  Just listening to it, I was reminded of her portrayal of the Machiavellian mama in The Manchurian Candidate, making Angela Lansbury the Queen of Mad Mother Portrayals in my book.

Stepford Mama -  Bernadette Peters   This clip from the Tony Awards shows Bernadette as someone who is thinking about every word, movement, and expression as she stands and sings the song.  In my mind, nothing about Rose’s Turn should appear to be planned; it should be performed with a kind of wild abandon. I admire Bernadette, really I do, but sometimes you’re just not right for the role.

Scary Mama - Patti LuPone –   This was an audio-only version, because Playbill Staff stated that no video version exists, but that is not true.  There is a video version on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9HLw7m6dCo that probably was taken by an audience  member at the Broadway performance.  I’m guessing Playbill Staff was afraid to use it after Patti’s real-life meltdown during a performance of the song during an actual show http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WruzPfJ9Rys where she berates an audience member for taking pictures in an extended rant (“Who do you think you ARE?”) which was ironically also recorded by someone in the audience that day who obviously escaped her notice.  With that attitude, she’s just lucky that her video performance (which was powerful vocally but mannered) was not lost for all posterity, like Ethel Merman’s.

The Total Package-Bette Midler  You know, I love me some Bette Midler, who performed the role in a made-for-television production.  I would have to rate this the best overall performance of this group for the total package Bette presents.  She acts it flawlessly, sings it exceptionally, and has the best choreography, the best dress, and the best breasts (I only mention the latter, because she actively uses them in the number) and it all seems to come naturally.

Most Surreal - Bette Buckley  This clip is from one of Bette Buckley’s concerts, and includes the end of With One Look from “Sunset Boulevard”  in full Norma regalia before she does an onstage change into a Mama Rose get-up with the help of about 4 dressers.  She performed the song well, but still, it was just weird.  Maybe she should have invested in a sparkly pantsuit.

Sue Anne Nivens as Mama - Delores Gray – Okay, I didn’t know who Delores Gray was, but my husband tells me she was a famous singing stage actress of yesteryear who starred in a lot of shows, many of which were flops.  So, this audio-only concert offering features Delores explaining to the audience in the sweetest manner the story of Gypsy and the scene in the show leading up to Rose’s Turn, and then launching into one of the meanest, most venomous performances of the song I’ve ever heard.  Meanwhile the picture we see of her is of a wholesome 50’s-era blonde holding two poodles while sitting in a convertible.

The Faceless Actress - Tyne Daly – Really, this audio-only version doesn’t cut it, because the genius of Tyne Daly’s performance wasn’t about singing but about acting, and has to be SEEN to be appreciated.  Check out the video, which does exist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CLd554sZq8

British Mama - Caroline O’Connor – This is just a promotional trailer for the 2012 London production of the show, and only contains the very last line of Rose’s Turn, despite the fact that a fine audio version of Caroline O’Connor’s exceptional performance is readily available. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcNNAKblpaM.

The Un-Mama - Chris Colfer Which one of these clips is not like the others?  Why, it’s this bastardized truncated version from Glee. Chris Colfer is terrific (as always) but he was not playing Mama Rose.  He was playing Kurt, and therefore does not belong in this group at all.

The Movie Mama -Rosalind Russell –Rosalind Russell being cast in the movie is the reason we don’t have a video version of Ethel Merman singing this song, and here Rosalind is in all her dreadful mediocrity, with her singing being dubbed by Lisa Kirk.  Just for fun, Playbill Staff included another version of Rosalind Russell in the movie, with Ethel Merman’s vocals dubbed in.

I’m guessing that even from the grave, Ethel Merman is not amused.

Sweet Corn and Grilled Peaches

In my six-mile commute to work, I pass three farmers’ markets, and let me tell you, ‘tis the season for signs on the road marketing their wares.  I understand.  That’s a lot of competition – a farmer’s market on every corner practically.

The signs for “Sweet Corn” and “Peaches”, which are all the rage at all three of these markets right now, are actually pretty tempting.  These are some of my favorite foods – I mean, the corn doesn’t even have to be sweet to entice me, and I enjoy anything made of peaches, including those dandy frozen margaritas they make at the Franklin Inn.   Sweet corn and peaches have the added appeal of being healthy and low in calories, unlike some of my other favorite foods like, for instance, Italian hoagies or chocolate cake.

Sometimes the markets try to sweeten the pot by building whole events around their produce.  Kaelin’s Farm Market offers a weekly Sweet Corn and Grilled Peaches Roast, assuring us on their signage that is it “their own” corn and peaches that they plan to roast.  And my dad’s neighbor Nancy tells me that Soergel’s Hot Dogs and Sweet Corn Roasts on Sundays just can’t be beat.  That might be true, but I will probably never find out.  I usually avoid the markets when they are having any kind of event. Seriously, there are traffic jams on the main road and a guy directing traffic to park in the far fields when Soergel’s hosts anything like that.

Shenot Farm Market has won awards, and is not afraid to advertise that for those driving by.  They seem to specialize in apples – lots and lots of apples. Their “Award Winning Apple Cider” sign actually did make me stop on the spot one day to pick some up for my cider connoisseur husband who did deem it to be “damn good.”

Not that everything that the farmers’ markets offer is healthy. Shenot makes some mighty fine looking fudge, but of course I can’t tell you how it tastes because I’ve been on a diet for what seems like forever.  And now Soergels is offering “Amish Donuts Every Saturday,” presumably to go along with their Amish furniture.  Hmm, what makes a doughnut Amish, I wondered.  Is it a certain kind of doughnut, or is it just made by Amish people?  As I always do when I have a question about food, I turned to my husband, who was trained as a chef.

 

“What’s an Amish donut?” I asked.

 

“A doughnut that wears a black hat and a long black coat,” he responded, without missing a beat. Oh, we had a good laugh at that - he does amuse me, but clearly there were no Amish instructors at the Culinary Institute of America.  The Internet (my second source of information about food) revealed that an Amish doughnut is a maple glazed doughnut. 

All this reminds me of a funny food-related sign from my past.  Once I was lost in Beaver County driving along Route 18 when I happened upon “Sadie’s Big Beaver Restaurant.” I know, I know,  this restaurant probably was given its name for the most innocent and obvious reason – because it was a restaurant located in Big Beaver, PA, owned by a lady named Sadie.  But still, you have to admit, this was one funny name for a restaurant.

The humor of the name of this restaurant is lost on the locals, by the way. Mention this to someone from Beaver County and they all have the same response.  “Oh, yeah, Sadie’s” they say, wistfully.  “She had good food – too bad she closed a few years ago.”  It is sad that Sadie’s closed, but perhaps she can take solace that the name of her restaurant continues to give pleasure and amusement to so many – well, okay, maybe just to me- even 20 years later.

Politically Incorrect

I largely avoid discussing politics, in writing or in person, because I can’t stand the often mean-spirited divisiveness that it generates among friends, co-workers and sometimes strangers on the street, especially when on Facebook.  I don’t necessarily want to know all the political opinions of my Facebook Friends, and have often wondered how that person who seemed so nice in my day-to-day dealings with him or her can be so misguided and hateful.  I never de-Friend anyone, but I made an exception for a perfectly pleasant-seeming former casual acquaintance of mine who turned out to be a raging Neo-Nazi lunatic on Facebook.

I am not afraid to say that I am absolutely crazy about Hillary Clinton, as a person and a politician.  Essentially, I not only supported her for the presidency, I support her for anything she might like to do, and I think she is one kick-ass Secretary of State.  Of course, everyone knows that I’m liberal, even when I don’t come out and say so, but for me being liberal is more about being open-minded to all philosophies and lifestyles than it is about taking a particular political stance.  In fact, when I first registered to vote I tried to register as an Independent, unaffiliated to any particular party, but the registrar in Clarion, PA (where I was going to college at the time) had never heard of such a thing, and was not prepared to register an Independent.  So I am a Democrat, which is okay, because it means I can vote in primaries, and had the chance to proudly cast my vote for Hillary for President.

However, I have a hard time keeping quiet when it comes to civil rights and what I perceive as discrimination against any particular group of people.  You see, I actually believe that all people are created equal and should have rights to equal treatment under the law.  Maybe I got mixed up a little in all those history classes, and my numerous viewings of the musical 1776, but isn’t that the foundation of the United States of America?  I was under the impression that our nation was created so that all the people in it could live their chosen lifestyles in peace, free from persecution.  I really hope that is the case, because I still get all weepy and in the mood to sing patriotic songs just thinking about it.

So, I have to say something when a national campaign focuses on weight rather than health, essentially targeting chubby kids and setting them up for ridicule and self-esteem issues.  I cannot understand why anyone, anywhere, would be against all people in our country having access to affordable health care.

 

The right to bear arms aside, I cannot fathom why, in a day and age when we can no longer go to our office job, or high school, or a fast food restaurant, or the local shopping mall where our congressional representative is appearing, or religious services or the movie theater without risking being shot to death that any right-minded person would have a problem with enacting some reasonable gun control laws that keep assault weapons out of the hands of your everyday miscreant. And do not try to tell me that people kill people, not guns.  If the shooter at The Dark Knight Rises came into the movie theater that evening with the intent to strangle or even stab people, it seems unlikely that so many lives would have been lost.

Now let’s talk about love for a minute.  In America we should all have the right to love whomever we choose to love, and live freely and openly with our partner or loved one without fear of persecution.  It should go without saying that any couple in this country should have the right to legalize their union in marriage.  We all have the right to believe whatever we believe about this, but as Americans we should not have the right to impose our beliefs on anyone else.  And to those who try to justify legalized discrimination based upon what the Bible says, that is exactly why we have separation of church and state in this country.  We have a right to practice our own religious beliefs, but a responsibility to not interfere with others’ right to practice theirs.  And if I understand it correctly, that’s what America is, or should be, all about.

Well, now I feel better.  I promise next week I’ll talk about something banal like the weather.

A Column in Blog Form - 100 Weeks of Rip

Well, this is it.  My 100^th post of Rip Aches All Over, almost three years after Resurrecting Rip on August 28, 2009.  This has of course caused me to reflect on this column, I mean blog, and what it has meant to me.  Mostly though, it made me wonder what in the world I have been talking about all this time.

I first decided to write this blog at the suggestion of my husband, when I revealed in a Facebook quiz that you concoct yourself to find out how well your Friends know you that my ideal fantasy job would be “nationally syndicated humor columnist.”  So, I have my husband and Facebook to thank for becoming Rip again.  This is appropriate, because I owe a lot of my happiness today to my husband and, for that matter, Facebook.

When I first started writing Rip, my blog was a casual undertaking, written and published whenever the mood hit me.  This usually meant every couple of weeks, although I would occasionally go a month or more between posts.  At the urging of my good friend Mary, who was at the time an editor for a weekly community newspaper, and my in-laws (who are my ardent fans and encouragers) Rip got a little more serious.  In 2011, in preparation for marketing Rip to a larger audience, I began publishing blogs between 500 and 800 words once a week on Mondays.  I post them to Facebook, and have an e-mail mailing list of my “readers” (aka my family and friends – I think many of you actually read the column).

So what in the world have I talked about in this weekly column?  Anything, everything, nothing – that is the glory of this wonderful endeavor.  It is entirely up to me.  In looking over my blogs, I have found that I sometimes talk about current events or Pittsburgh or celebrity happenings or plays or movies, but more often it’s about the little mundane events of my everyday life, like the weather or finally getting that Tuna Cheddar Melt sandwich from Eat n Park.  I also like to reminisce, like we more mature folks often do, about stuff that happened to me throughout my life.  

In three years, I have only repeated one column and that one was posted three times – every year on or near February 13^th I post On This Day My Child Was Born, the story of the events of the day that I gave birth to my wonderful son.  Trust me, he’s worth it, and so is the story of that day.

According to my stat counters, on the average, between 50 and 80 of you read Rip each week, and many  of you have taken the time to tell me how much you enjoy the blog.  I appreciate it.  I have 19 followers on the blog site itself, and I receive lots of comments each week there, on Facebook and through e-mail.

So on this momentous occasion, it is time to take Rip to the next level.  Rip Aches All Over now has its own Facebook page!  This is exciting stuff, and you can "invest" in my efforts to market the column with absolutely no cost to you by liking Rip's facebook page and/or following the actual blog.  Thanks in advance, and see you next week!